Picture problems

My picture problems persist. Now I can't find my camera. It was full of pictures from the Girl's last games, plus a picture that K took when he went to see a former "caseload" of his play a game.

It was the same weekend as my SI picture problems, and I haven't seen it since. So I can't take any pictures, plus my cellphone seems to have stopped "mobile uploading" to Facebook. I can send pictures, but they never show up.

I lost my hairbrush around the same time, so I kept saying that the maids must have put them somewhere, and they were probably together.

I finally found my hairbrush in the medicine cabinet, but still no sign of my camera.

Taxing Directions

I was so mad yesterday at my tax employer. They gave me an address for my "training" that just plain doesn't exist. I didn't know that, however. I googlemapped it, and was shown a spot near the 605 fwy, quite a ways from my house. Darn! I'd picked that location because I thought it was close.

I should have done a satellite view, though, as I would have seen that it was an empty lot. But I drove clear out there, got off and would have been right on time if the place had existed. But I looked and looked for it, came back to look again, then followed the road clear past the Santa Anita Racetrack when I had enough.

I pulled over and called the person in charge of training, Tami. No answer. So I 411'd the company and got transferred to a local office where I tried to ask the guy who answered where the heck this office was. He ended up being so helpful by telling me the correct address. Turns out they gave us the office number where the address should be.

So I turned around and went there, wondering why the heck the person in charge (Tami?)didn't send out a message, an email, some kind of "heads up" about the wrong address? There had to be 30 people scheduled to go there.

The funny thing is, once I arrived an hour late, I hadn't missed anything. I think they had just gone around and introduced themselves and gotten the books. They were just milling about in class, so I got to say hi to all my friends and get my books before they settled down and started passing around the sign-in sheet. So I got full (paid) credit for the hour I lost.

It was good to see my friends, but sometimes the company just seems so disorganized that I get frustrated.

Season end

So the last I reported about the Girl's soccer, she had a red card and couldn't play the last game. The team they had to play last had previously beat them 5-0, so we felt like the ref had nailed close the coffin on the team;s future.

But we went to the last game, and the Girl's team persevered and won 3-1! It was great to know the team could perform well without the Girl, as she was planning on leaving the team.

Actually, we called the coach the night before the last game, and told him we were leaving to go to the local club. It would be different if it wasn't the school's club soccer team (affiliated), and they weren't known for trying to get the girls scholarships.

Anyway, he seemed surprised, even though we'd told him she was considering leaving before the season. She basically stayed a season so she wouldn't leave them in the lurch.

But he was really nice at the game, and already had her card and paperwork for me. I hugged him and thanked him, but I hate to say goodbye. She'd been on that team for 6 years! So we said maybe she could still play with them at a few tournaments, etc.

Then a few days later I noticed that we were off the email list. Just like that, communication is cut.

It feels sad, like a breakup or something. A breakup that you initiated because you feel you need to go a different direction in your future, even though you do love that person. Even though you're trying to do what's best, you feel sad and miss that person, and feel badly that they did so much for you. I feel badly causing him any pain.

Thanksgiving 2010

We had our Thanksgiving a day later than the "real" day when everyone else ate. We had a nice day, the Girl and I. I cooked ahead the stuffing, broccoli, and the cranberry sauce. the Girl made brownies. The Boy ate at his GFF's uncles and she brought him back late.

I had to go to the store because K didn't buy the kind of sausage I usually use for stuffing.. They didn't have any in the store! All they had was a habanero flavored sausage, so I had to get for that.

Friday K really wanted to get my car fixed, so I drove it to Burbank and drove around with the Mechanic a little so he could hear the rattle. K met me there and brought me home.

We put the turkey in the oven and I started the sweet potato casserole. I made the bread topping for the broccoli casserole, and tried to keep the kitchen clean. The Girl made mashed potatoes and I made an apple crisp for desert.

The GFF's parents stopped by when they dropped her off for dinner with us. Her mom I'd met before, but I was surprised to meet her father, as he was rather tall and handsome, and none of his kids really resembled him. His daughter is beautiful, I'm just saying.

We had a nice dinner, but the stuffing was kindof a roller coaster ride. Whew! Everyone liked it though, except for the GFF.

She doesn't like spicy food. And habanero? HOT!!!

Almost Famous

One (the only) thing that kept the bad soccer day from being a total loss, is that K got a call from Sports Illustated the week before. The department cleared him to talk to them, and it was just sort of a dream. Who gets to talk to Sports Illustrated?

On Sunday, after the Girl got her red card, we got a call from a fact-checker about pictures. Did we have any pictures of the team?

Anyone who knows me knows I take a LOT of pictures. But I got a little ticked at both sides of my family last year, and thought, "Really? You guys need to mess with me? All I ever do is try to be nice and give people pictures!" So that was it, no more pictures from me.

Because of this, I haven't posted any of my pictures to my usual picture sites (shutterfly) where I can easily find them. They were just all in the computer, where I'd downloaded them from my camera.

But my computer had finally gotten a virus so bad that I none of my usual tricks worked to fix it. How the heck was I going to get to all my pictures? I hadn't backed them up for a long time.

It was a long drive home, but when we got there, I turned on the computer and tried different ways of booting it to try and bypass the virus. I ended up only being able to restore to default, which it said would not delete any DATA files. I could only hope that pictures were considered data files.

We left to scan some photos other people had taken, and ran into trouble at Kinkos. We scanned all the pics, but at the end it wouldn't let us save to CD, so we had to start all over again. Argghhhh! So frustrating. At the end K complained that in one picture we had cut off the top of his head. I was overwhelmed at the thought of figuring out how to fix it, so I told him that it was just his hair, and moved on.

I was bummed out because I was pretty sure I'd deleted all my pictures, and thought it was some sort of poetic justice because I'd been such a snit about pictures and now it was coming around to bite me in the ass!

When I checked my computer, I found my pictures were still there! So we picked the best ones, loaded them into an email or three, and sent them to SI.

Later they said that their favorite pic was mine! I was almost going to get a photo credit in SI!

Well, almost. They ended up not running any pictures.

But at least my computer got somewhat fixed, altho I had to take it offline. And I spent the next week archiving my pictures onto CD's and flash drives.

So I dodged a bullet there, but we did lose all our iTunes. That hurts.

Fur, crying, and 1-hour books

Fur

Last night I started watching the movie "Fur" on the Sundance channel because the info said it was about the photographer Diane Arbus (starring Nicole Kidman). I had seen a photo of hers of the Disney castle with a swan out front that looked slightly menacing, and because of that I was interested in learning more about her.

Anyway, the movie had her falling in love with Robert Downey Jr, who was a hairy man out of a freak show. How they got these people to be in this movie is beyond me. Every time K tried to watch it with me, he started getting depressed and asked me to change the channel, but I argued that I wanted to see it because it was true. (even if farfetched) So he kept leaving. It got very strange at the end.

Then I got to the credits and saw that it was a "fictionalized account" of her life. I was a little ticked off about that. I was unaware of her preoccupation with freak-show and circus (and naked) people, but I prefer to think it was a reaction against an upbringing where everything looked perfect.

I looked up her husband later, as the handsome Ty Burrell from Modern Family played him. Turns out Allan Arbus went on to become an actor, and played Dr. Friedman in MASH.

I thought that was interesting, although Diane's pic of Disneyland isn't mentioned online as one of her more famous photos.
----------------

I may have mentioned that I tear up easily. Even in movies that aren't sad, if something touching happens I get all teary.

A few weeks ago I was reading a book that wasn't even sad - "Shopaholic and Sister." Who would cry at that, right? But she was just so misunderstood in the book, and tears just kept escaping from my eyes, prompting K to ask me, "Are you enjoying your book?"

Then a new movie came on TV, "Love Happens." It really got sad at the end when the main character relives the death of his wife, and I was off crying again. It got so bad that I had to go downstairs and hide because my eyes were all red and puffy and I didn't want to have to explain it to my kids.

======================

By the way, Jenny McCarthy has been out promoting her new book, "Love, Lust, and Faking it." I saw it in the library, so I decided to take look at it. I was looking for dish about what happened with Jim Carrey, and I really enjoyed reading about her son's autism.

I read nearly the whole thing in an hour in the library, and there's NO DISH in there about Jim Carrey! So, no need to buy it. It's just her opinions or things that happened to her - her first boyfriend, etc. It has some good advice in there I guess (don't expect that just because you date a loser that he's going to appreciate it/you.)

I already told my daughter that, so that's not news to me.

Life is a work of art

Last week I heard that Demi Lovato had to go into "treatment" and not finish her tour with the Jonas Brothers. It seems that Joe Jonas broke up with her, and who would want to stay on tour with your ex who already moved on to a new girlfriend?

Evidently she had eating issues and was cutting herself too. I told the Girl about this, and noted that it can be hard being a teenager or young adult at times, and encouraged her to ask for help if she needs it, like Demi did.

It's sad too, because she just released a song saying, "Every day is a new canvas", that I found inspirational. I know she didn't write it necessarily, and it can be hard to live in your highest ideals when things seem tough. I guess I just wish she listened to the song herself.

--------------------------
Everyday is like a blank canvas
You know you can paint it anyway you want it
You can draw a black cloud
You can make the sun shine
Coloring a rainbow
or use black and white
---------------------------

A few weeks ago K went to see a football game the boys from his camp were playing. Turned out they were playing Campbell Hall, a private school in the Valley. When he got home K said that Dakota Phanning was Homecoming Queen!

Wow. Good for her. She got the typical high-school experience!

Not.

Last Night

Just so you know, falling asleep on the couch can be very dangerous.

Last night, actually this morning, I woke up at 3am on the couch. The TV was on, and I jumped up, confused. I didn't realize that my foot had also fallen asleep, though, and when I jumped up, it declined to support me.

It collapsed under me I didn't really fall or hurt myself, but I twisted my ankle pretty badly.

You don't realize how fully you're trusting one foot to hold you up until you're fully on it. Like when you step off a curb, and your ankle hurts.

So just be careful out there. No more falling asleep on the couch.

Guilty

I've been feeling guilty about the thought of telling the Girl's Coach that she's leaving the team. He's been such a great coach for her for so many years - 5 or 6 years now. He indulges her drama and tendency to miss practice now and then. He's been good for her, but now she has a chance to get onto a better team on a club that's known for getting scholarships for the girls. Plus if she's on this club, she'll have a better shot at playing in High School.

So I feel like I'm breaking up with someone I really like. K asked me if he should tell him today, but I keep delaying it. I'm hoping something will happen that will make it so that we won't have to tell him at all.

We'll see what happens...

Soccer Sucks

The Girl's latest soccer season ended badly and abruptly. Going into last weekend, we were playing two beatable teams. Her team has not been winning overall, but they've been playing well. They just can't score!

On Sat we played the next to worst team that had come up from Bronze this season, and were losing 0-1 most of the game. Then the Coach moved the 2 best girls (including the Girl) to the front to try and score, and boom, boom, boom - the other team scored 3 times in 5 minutes.

We scored once after that, but it was over. At least the Girl had a sleepover that night to look forward to.

Sunday they played better. This team was doing well in the league, but only beat us by one goal last game, so we felt it was doable. We were losing 0-1 when the Girl tried a little too hard to get the ball, and accidentally kicked an opponent in the face - and got a red card. Which means she's out and the team plays short one player, plus she can't play in the next game. The last game of the season.

This was no relaxed league like this summer's though, because even though I tried to tell the ref it was accidental, he said it didn't matter. I know it sounds bad, but I also know she was just trying hard.

She was crying and said, "This is the last game I'll ever play with this team!" and I said, Hey! They don't know that yet! Plus, we might play in some tournaments with them, or you might decide the other team is too hard core and you'd rather come back.

I tried to cheer her up, but after awhile she wanted me to leave her alone.

The team was a little stunned after that, and got scored on again right away. Another of her team got hurt and they had to play down 2 players for awhile! They ended up losing 0-3, but the team played a lot better than the score indicates.

So we have one more week of practice and another game, but the Girl can't play.

I talked with the coach of the team she wants to go to, and they are struggling with injuries and such too.

We'll have to see what happens.

Jimmy Carter?

Last night I dreamed I came home (to our old house) and my Dad was sitting in the living room with Jimmy Carter!

I was annoyed that my Dad had let him in and hadn't even picked up the house, so I went around picking up laundry baskets, etc., and taking them to my room.

I asked Mr. Carter if he wanted any tea or anything, but he declined. I asked what he was up to lately, and he said nothing. I said, "Really? There are no causes you want to get behind?" And he said no, he didn't have to do anything anymore, he was retired.

Later he asked me how Rick was doing, and I said, "You know I'm married to K, right? Not Rick."

That was pretty much it. I wonder what the heck it could mean!

Migraine Pills

I have been getting migraines for many years. I was lucky to find a medicine that worked for me, but I have a major complaint against the packaging.

The first med came 3 pills to a little plastic box. I felt it was wrong to throw them out, so I didn't really know what to do with all the leftovers. They were packaged carefully, so I guess it's bad for the pills to get somehow smashed or punctured.

Now, they changed my Rx as my old med is now not covered, and I had to use a new one, that I might even like better than the old pills. But why, why, why is it so hard to get to them?

OK, I already have a headache. Now I have to figure out how to get to the stupid pill?

The new pills come in a regular box, which I like. They are in plastic bubbles, on a sheet of 3 pills. They are perforated, so you can get them apart, but here's where it gets tricky.

There's a triangle at the edge which can bend and snap off (also perforated),with a thin covering of foil on top of a layer of something else. The thing is that when you use the triangle and try to peel the foil back, it doesn't work. It's very hard to get the foil back, but even if you do, you have to get through the layer of paper or whatever below it.

And remember, I have a headache. I usually end up poking my fingernail through the layers I can, and peeling it back to expose the hopefully unharmed pill.

I don't know what they are afraid of happening to that pill that would be worse than my trying to poke it out with my fingernail!

Lost Info

The other day I was in the tax office, and answered the phone. A man was calling with a question - he knew that his ex-wife had filed an extension, but he didn't have a copy of it. He wanted to file his taxes, but he didn't have his ex's SSN nor that of his step-daughter. He'd need those to file as MFJ or MFS.

I asked if he couldn't look at some past returns or papers that might have it, but he said no, his ex took everything. I asked if he couldn't just call her and ask, but he said she wasn't responding to his calls or emails.

For some reason, I brought up how he was going to file for this year, and he said, "Oh, I'll be filing as married. Because I'm married again."

OK, now I understand why he doesn't have any paperwork and why his ex won't return his calls.

Not sure I feel sorry for this guy...

Phantom Bank Account

We all know that there's been quite a turnover in backs in the last year or so. K was at a bank we don't usually use, for the Boy's loan, when they talked him into signing up for a new checking account.

The lady had gone on and on about how there were NO FEEs, and that finally convinced K to put $500 into a new account there. Later, K went to check on his account, but the bank had changed names and for awhile they couldn't find his account! He was somewhat troubled by that, but was happy that in the end they found his money.

Well, he didn't check on the account much, because he didn't use it. Last month he checked it again, and found that the bank had taken $75 out of the account! They had taken nearly 20% of the whole deposit!

Naturally upset, he made them check to see what had happened. It seems that they forgot what kind of account it was, decided it was the kind of account where they subtract $25/month for some reason.

He made them credit the account for what they had needlessly subtracted, but came away rather upset with the whole thing. Banks have a reputation of being so rule-based and having to do the right thing, but the truth is that they'll do whatever they can get away with!

He went back to that bank on Monday for something else, and found that the bank had deducted another $25 (now that it was November.) Frustrated, he made them credit the account again, and he withdrew the whole $500.

He said he could see the woman who had sold him on the account cringing in the background.

Soccer Drama

The Girl's soccer team started the league playoffs last weekend, with 2 games on Sunday. (Halloween, weird) The first game was against a really tough team in a higher bracket, and they lost.

The second game was against one of the best teams in a lower bracket. It was a beautiful day, but a dramatic game.

Before the game I said a prayer that her team could do well, and they did! The first goal was off a penalty kick, pretty far away from the goal. The coach was yelling at the Girl to hurry up and kick it, but she had to wait for the ref to blow the whistle first. After the whistle she kicked it hard and high and right over the Goalie's head. It was beautiful! She's now the leading scorer again, with 3 goals for the season. And she's on defense.

Later the other team came down and chipped the ball over the defender's heads, and right into the goal. Darn, now the score was tied.

Then one of our players who has been trying and trying all season to score, ran it down and scored by herself. Her father was there to see it and she and he were SO happy. First score of the season for her.

Later, one of our best defenders headed the ball, which had come hard and spinning in her direction, and she went down. Her Dad went to see her on the field, and said her eyes were rolling back in her head! So the Coach told us to call 911, and the ref called halftime.

The fire department came, an ambulance came, and the girls went onto the field and took a knee for her. Then, they decided to go into a circle and pray for her. It was a shame for several reasons, but also because the team had been playing so well and were currently ahead. How would they play without her?

When the EMTs showed up, she was feeling much better. She was answering questions correctly and was able to stand and walk off the field. Yay!

After a little while, they got past our defenders and scored again. Argh! Now we were tied again. Then we got a penalty kick from far away, and the Coach had his daughter take the shot. She's a very good kicker, capeable of long, high kicks, but not great at controlling her shot. It could be a good shot, but a bit more likely to be way too high or off to the side.

Her kick went far, and high, and hit the far post of the goal, and ricocheted into the goal! It was so perfect, it was enough to make me believe in magic. Or God. Or both.

It was such a good game, and the girls were very happy.

After the game, though, a woman walked across the field to tell our coach that one our players had said something to her, and she would be embarrassed if that were her child. This player, Jazz, said that this woman had been cursing at her during the game.

IMHO, she should have been embarrassed about herself. Lowering herself to curse at a 13 year old? I would have been angry if I had been Jazz's Mother, no matter what my daughter said to her. Of course, Jazz shouldn't have done that. But I'm thinking that in the first place, she must have been responding to something that lady said. Players don't talk to the other team's parents, normally.

But the Coach said, "Oh, sorry." and left it at that.

Anyway, we learned afterward that this woman had waited in the parking for Jazz's family, and had confronted Jazz's family about their daughter. Who would think that this would go well?

Ultimately, Jazz's Mother offered to settle it right there in the parking lot with this woman, but I guess they were able to walk away without coming to blows. Or the police being called. (we'd already called the FD and EMTs, after all.)

I think that because this team wasn't used to losing, their tempers got the best of them. Our girls played great and deserved to win.

Regis & Kelly

I have been a long-time follower of daytime TV, and have been watching Regis & Kelly when it was still Regis & Kathi Lee.

Anyway, the other day they called someone for their daily trip giveaway. An elderly lady answered, and said she'd been waiting for years for them to call. Also she was so glad they called because her husband had been diagnosed with cancer. The audience said, "Awwwwwww....." Then she said, no, it was OK because he was better now.

Then they asked her the question, where was Maggie Q, who had been on the show the day before, born?

The lady said, Oh, I think it was Japan.

Kelly said, "Name a city."

The lady said, "Tokyo!"

Regis said, "No, I'm sorry, it was Hong Kong."

And the lady said, "Oh! Bangladesh! I knew it was somewhere in Asia."

Ha!

Today they called and asked if Karen was there. The lady who answered said no. Then they said they were Regis and Kelly, and she said, "Hi. I'm Karen."

So Regis got confused. Was she or wasn't she Karen? So they put up her picture (you have to send one with your contest entry) and asked her to describe it. She said, Oh, she was sleeping. The lady in the picture was standing up.

So they asked her to describe what she was wearing and she said she thought it was pink. It was white pajamas with some kind of print on it.

So they moved on and asked her to pick a number, and she picked 40. Regis said, "OK, 42! Where's 42?"

LOL - fun in the morning.

Local Politics - Meg & Carly

The commercials for local politics are increasing as we get closer to election day. They are getting longer too, and I wish they would just go away. I'm tempted to DVR everything now, just so I can forward through them all.

Meg Whitman is currently challenging Barbara Boxer here in CA, saying she was head of Ebay and blah, blah, blah. Then her former nanny came forward to say that Meg knew she was an undocumented worker, and kept her on anyway. When the nanny finally went to Meg for help to get citizenship, Meg fired her.

Now the hypocrisy of hiring an undocumented worker and being tough on immigration doesn't really surprise me, as it seems typical of people seeking to be "tough on immigration."

What floored me was that this woman worked for Meg for 9 years, raising her children, and the minute the nanny asked her for help she was out. It seems to me she'd be part of the family by then. How did her children take that? Plus, what does that say about her as a person?

I've since found out that it's nearly impossible for workers like her to get citizenship, and that seems wrong to me too. After all, all these other people came from somewhere else. Shouldn't everyone have the same opportunity?

And then there's Carly Fiorini, looking so, so smug in her cute haircut. She just thinks she's SO cool. She also was head of a company (HP) that laid off thousands of people.

I would love for this to come around and bite them in the ass. I mean really, laying off workers and moving those jobs overseas is not a very creative or innovative idea. Sure it save these companies money, but it would have been so much better if they had come up with an idea that would grow the company instead.

Plus, both these women received huge (millions) bonuses for doing that. Really? I don't understand how that is justified. That should really be a last ditch solution to save a company. How about taking a reasonable bonus instead and putting the rest of the money into the company?

The economy is bad right now, and lots of people are unemployed. I would love for some of the people responsible for that to go down. How can they blame Democrats for unemployment levels when they are the very people that caused much of the current unemployment!

I also hate that ads for various propositions, as they all directly contradict each other. Like "It will save the environment!" vs. "It's sponsored by Oil Companies!"

Because of this I guess I'm going to have to sit down and read the darned Voter's Information Guide to decide for myself what to vote for.

Sigh. (Just kidding)

Dog story

The other day I was going out with my realtor friend Bren, who is married to a lawyer and is more conservative than I am. I drove to her house, and called to tell her I was there. I waited outside her house for her to come out.

Meanwhile, the lady across the street pulled into her driveway, and she and a little girl got out of the car. The lady kept looking at me seeming interested in me for some reason. She was smiling and seemed nice, so I smiled and said hi. She had a dog on a release type leash, where you can let it out or reel it in.

Bren came out and said hi and introduced me to her neighbor. We chatted for a minute, then we walked to Bren"s car so she could drive. We pulled out of the cul du sac and Bren started telling me that the only thing she didn't like about this lady was that she let her dog...

She looked in her rear-view mirror and saw this lady crossing the street to Bren's house. Bren said, "Wait, this will just take a minute." and she pulled a U=turn (screech!) at the main street and drove back into the cul du sac. I never saw her do anything like THAT before!

The other lady had walked across the street to let her dog go into Bren's yard! I think she saw us coming because she started reeling her dog back in. Bren pulled up beside her and opened my window. I started searching for makeup in my purse and really wished I wasn't there.

Bren told her nicely, "Listen, could you please not let your dog go on our lawn? My husband won't even let OUR dog go on the lawn because he says it turns the grass yellow." She said it nicely, but she repeated it about 3 times, trying to make sure it sounded nice.

The other lady immediately picked up the dog and said yes, of course she understood and she wouldn't do it anymore. But she had to listen to Bren say it a few more times.

You see, this lady doesn't let the dog go to the bathroom on her OWN lawn, she takes it to the neighbors lawns. It's not that she takes the dog for a walk, she takes it to other people's yards!

Bren keeps asking me why someone would do that, does she think she's better than everyone else? (they live in an upscale neighborhood) I say not to worry about it - I think she's just selfish. Or inconsiderate?

But it was a little aggressive that right after talking to Bren, this lady takes her dog to HER lawn and lets it go to the bathroom there. Or maybe she thinks people won't mind?Maybe she thought Bren seemed friendly and wouldn't mind.

But now she takes her dog to other neighbors lawns.

What do you think?

New School Year

School has started anew this Fall, and every year is different. At the Girl's middle school, she says there are 200 more students this year! I guess the incoming 7th grade class is much bigger than last year's!

I was wondering what was going on the first week of school. I took the familiar route to drop the Girl off, and couldn't believe the traffic. After 3 years of having kids at this school (2 for the Boy and 1 for the Girl), I know the best place to drop them off, how to avoid traffic jams, etc.

But suddenly the street was full of all these parents that have no idea! They park along both sides of the side streets, so that only one car can fit in to drive, so that you have to take turns with people going the opposite direction. Some people are apparently blind or something, as they couldn't seem to figure out that they needed to take turns, and just went ahead and barged into the lane anyway, going the opposite direction!

So far, by getting too far to the right trying to avoid other drivers, I have knocked back a mirror on the van of a woman I know ("So sorry! I'm sorry!") and knocked over a trash can!

How embarrassing. Now I go a little later to avoid the crunch.

The girl is happier this year, since she has more friends and is no longer the younger class at school. Last summer her best friends never wanted to do anything - not even come swim once a week. But when she went to camp, the Girl made friends with a popular girl, and after that got invited to do a lot of things and made more friends. When school started again, her old friends got jealous. But really, what was she supposed to do?

I got a little worried about the new friend, however. The first day of school the Girl said she was sharing a locker with this new friend, as she doesn't really like where her own locker is (bottom row, downstairs). Later that night, the friend texted her that her parents didn't want her to share a locker.

So I was hoping that this new friend wouldn't turn out to be a problem, but so far it seems OK. You know how girls can be.

She is 13 now and I feel her pushing me away. She's taken to calling me "Monkey" - a term less endearing than I'd like. The other day I got excited when she sat next to me, in front, when I took her to soccer practice. It turned out, tho, that she only wanted to changed the radio station at will.

Last weekend her soccer team won a game on Sat., but the Girl was mad at one of her teammates and basically wanted her kicked off the team. The next day they lost a game, but the Girl scored on a great penalty kick and was very happy. She tries to get cranky with us trying to help her (bringing food and offering it to her), but I try to emphasize that we are only trying to support her.

Meanwhile, the Boy has visited us twice already this semester! Wow. He says he's going to try to visit more, as he now realizes how little he came home last year. Really? What about the year before that?

I think that because he's in an apartment now, he's more on his own than ever before. He called me one day, saying, "Mom, I hate cooking SO much!"

One day he called from Costco, asking what he should buy. I made some suggestions, and he said he'd already picked out rice, salsa, and bologna. OK, whatever. He asked what he could do with bologna, and I said, well, you can try frying it.

Later that week he texted me that he HATES fried bologna! He said he cooked it for dinner and couldn't even eat it! He asked what else he could do with it, and I suggested eating it with a lot of mayo, or trading it to his roommates for an egg or something.

He bought about 2 lbs of it, and wanted to bring it home, but I said don't bother. It's not even good for you. Technically, it's bad for you.

But I told K that now that the Girl is pulling away from us, the Boy seems to be coming back our way.

That would be nice.

Colorado Trip

Our trip to Colorado was really nice, I may have mentioned. I had an unexpectedly great time visiting my family. The Boy showed up after I'd already been there 2 days, with his GFF. He called the day before he left to ask us to make him a Dr. appt as his back was really bothering him.

So the next day we went in (luckily they have Kaiser there too) and they gave him stronger drugs and told him to rest it. Then we went to visit my friend in Colorado Springs and show them Garden of the Gods. Luckily my friend went with us, as she knew a lot more about the park than we did!

I was a little annoyed that the GFF slept the whole way there and back, but I guess that's to be expected in teenagers. The next day the kids went to Waterworld, and my Mom had a BBQ afterward. It was good to see everyone.

When we went to my in-laws, I became an unexpected hero when I was able to "fix" their computer so that they could view their email again. Whatever I did was fairly simple and I can't say how long it will last, as mainly it seems that their computer is very old and slow.

But K's sister kept saying that their father just had too many old email in his google account, and that was jamming him up. I said that no, those are actually on google's computers. This opinion was not met with favor.

When we got to their house, the Boy was now suffering because he picked up an ear infection at Waterworld, and had to be taken to ER. The cost of ER was actually the same as it would have been at Kaiser, but the medicine cost almost $200! He said, "Only a few days ago I was thinking, if only my back didn't hurt! Then I'd be happy..." But no, now an earache.

We always go for a hike when we visit them at their home in the mountains, and this time we went up high so that the Girl could see some snow. So the hike wasn't too far, but it was a steep slope and up high, where there's hardly any oxygen left.

But I guess all our "walking" around the neighborhood has finally paid off, and I was for the first time able to keep pace with everyone else. Well, at least I wasn't the slowest this time. K's mom complemented me on being in shape, but I think I picked up a little sadness from her about being a little slower herself.

Getting old is hard on all of us. I was telling my sister how I expected to get wrinkles, but I don't like the ones showing up on my forehead. I told her I was going to have to cut my bangs again, and she laughed and said it's the poor woman's botox!

One of the most fun moments of the trip was when we were in the airport waiting for our flight, and I pulled out a pack of cards I always keep there, but seldom play with. We played a few games of crazy 8's and then a game called BS, and it was really a lot of fun.

We got home late and ran into some unexpected delays (our highway exit was closed, we had to wait on the runway, etc.) so it felt good to finally get home.

Sunday dinners

My sister closest in age to me, M, recently finished a LONG educational experience and finally earned her long-awaited Nursing degree. Yay!

Then, she found there's currently no shortage of nurses, and she was discouraged at not finding a job right away. Then right when we visited, she got a job in a psychiatric hospital. Yay again!

So she was training much of the time we were there, although we did get to see her a few times. As part of her training, she spend two days learning defensive moves and how to "take somebody down" if she had to.

She told a co-worker, "Well, if nothing else, it might come in handy at Sunday dinners with my family."

And the guy laughed. He just doesn't know....

Cruise dream

I often have dreams about being on vacation, often around water. Last night I dreamed I was on a cruise ship. I went outside to look at the water, and saw that the waves were really high. In fact I looked up, and the wave seemed to be as high as the sky, ready to crash down on the ship. So I ran back indoors and everything was fine.

If water often represents emotions, this dream would seem to say that I'm overwhelmed and scared of strong feelings. My own or those outside of me? Probably both. I'm scared of feelings so strong that they might destroy me.

Back inside the ship, I had trouble finding K. When I found him, he was busy with friends and promised to meet up with me later.

I went into a room with some other people, and there was a guy sitting next to me. I was visiting with these people, and the guy put his hand on my leg. For some reason I left it there, and didn't tell him to move it away.

Later I was back to looking for K, and ultimately ended the dream feeling frustrated and disappointed that he wasn't around for me.

In real life, this is possibly because he stayed in CO a week longer than I did, and therefore is literally not around. Or it might reflect my frustration that when he gets around his friends, sometimes the needs of his family are put on the back burner, and I feel hurt that I'm not getting the attention and affection that I normally get at home.

Anyway, I don't often remember my dreams anymore, so I thought I would write this one down.

The Picture Police

This is a tale of two families. One, K's, is confrontation-free. Not that things don't happen that people don't understand, but we are not to ask about them.

Then there is my family, who is pretty much the opposite. From one family we have a history of yelling, and in the other we have the Mystery of the Jade Necklace. For some reason, K and I moved far away from both families and started our own in sunny CA. Possibly because of this distance, we have had pretty good relationships with both families.

All my life I have loved to take pictures. My first was a tiny camera I bought from the back of a comic book when I was around 9. I had a vivitar for a long time, and took a Photography class in college. I loved developing the black and white images, watching them appear on the white paper.

When I grew up and had kids, the picture-taking only increased. Plus now with digital images, why not take 300 instead of 24?

So anyway, you get the picture. I have always tried to be generous with sending and sharing my photography, although at one time I sensed that K's sister E was somehow upset with me about pictures, and was no longer sending us any. It's so easy to offend women, and most of the time they never even tell you what you did wrong. And again, this was the non-confrontation family.

Back in my own family, my own sister E is living with my parents. She has OCD, and lately this has manifested itself in her claiming that people have stolen things from her, as if somehow we've stolen her childhood. BTW she is 12 years younger than me.

So I ask you, what could I possibly have of hers? Pictures. Pictures she says I have taken out of albums and absconded to California with. Most painfully, she even has my parents now questioning where I got the pictures of themselves that I enlarged as gifts for them! So even my most thoughtful gifts are coming back to bite me in the ass.

How do I know after all these years where I got the picture? One thing I know is that I never rifled through someone else's pictures with the idea of stealing them! Unless of course I am evil unknown to myself, like the man in Angel Heart, or delussionaly crazy like the girl in The Double Bind (don't read it!). In that case I'm probably not responsible for my actions anyway.

Then I gave my Mother an electronic picture frame for her Birthday (replacing the one stolen at Christmas) and included a flash drive with some recent pictures from my computer. Guess what? There were none of my sister AND IT WAS NOTICED!! Nevermind that another sister was also left out too, that was NOT noticed. Please people. I only had time to go through my most recent pictures. They're just lucky there weren't all of the cruise last year!

I think my Mother is brainwashed into believing these things herself, and every now and then will say something like "Well there was this one album...." So being worn down from all my sister's obsessing, she asked me a week before my visit to gather and copy all the pictures I have of my sisters.

So I did this, wishing to be done with the subject, and gave a copy of the disc to ALL of my 3 sisters.

In spite of all this, my sister managed suck it up and be nice while my family and I visited there, and we had a very nice trip and visit with her. All my practicing saying, "I don't want to fight with you." was not needed! I was thinking that the situation had improved.

Then the Girl went through my pictures from the trip and pasted some of herself on FaceBook. Then my sister asked why there were none of that side of the family. The Girl said she didn't have any, and my sister said she'd send her some.

Now my Mother tells me that she's offended that the Girl posted more pictures of K's family than mine, and that it isn't the first time that she and Dad have noticed it! She wonders if the Girl doesn't have some sort of identity crisis and wants only to acknowledge the whiter side of the family.

I wish I could say I was completely surprised, but my family often tends to see race as an answer to lots of things. I explained that the Girl only posted pictures that SHE WAS IN, but that didn't pacify my mother at all. She's entitled to her feelings, and she feels offended!

Later, my sister called to say that she finally looked at the disk I'd given her, and it was "bittersweet" because she sees pictures that she KNOWS are hers. She says she knows it was from her disposable camera, and I just told her I didn't see how that could even be true. I took a picture from her disposable camera?

Finally, all my practicing came in handy and I said that no one can make me feel guilty for something I didn't do. She says that is sad, as that means I am delusional.

Am I? Someday she's going to finally convince me that I am going crazy!

It's a short trip, my friends.

Club Soccer

Part I

The Club Manager of the local Gold team sent a formal invitation to The Girl to practice with the team, and come play a scrimmage with them on Saturday. So I sat down with her and told her about the offer, and she wanted to go. But her ankle was still recovering from a sprain, so we decided to go watch the scrimmage instead.

I talked to her about the fact that this team had moved up to Gold last year and then lost some players, reminding her that she'd been through such a transition before and it was a lot of pressure to step up your game and frustration at losing. And I reminded her how lenient her coach has been with her about her drama, a result of frustration, and not every coach is going to appreciate her like her current coach.

Trying to be honest, I told her coach about it, and that she probably wouldn't want to change teams now, but she's curious. He answered that without her the team would probably fall apart and he'd lose a ton of money, but that he'd never stand in her way. He said they'd promise us the world, but will most likely go back to the club down the street next year. Nothing like a little pressure!

So we got a ride to the Scrimmage (which was an hour away!) with a former teammate of Gracie's (M). My first surprise was that when I was introduced to the Team Administrator, she was polite at best. She greeted us, but didn't look happy to see us at all.

The next surprise was that the coach didn't show up on time. In fact, he was nearly an HOUR late! Which he says isn't really like him. Sure! He did tell me thanks for coming, which I thought was really nice.

The next thing was that I was really curious to see what skills a girl on a Gold team must have, and I didn't see anything that looked outstanding. No moves put on anyone, no slide tackles, One girl was super fast and a few had really big kicks, plus the Goalie was good. Other than that, I think the Girl was at least as good as any of them.

The Girl's former teammate (M) didn't take her into the group or introduce her to anyone, which I also found a little surprising. I'm not sure M wants the Girl on her team at all!!= Maybe it's her Mom that cares. And I'm surprised at how helpful the Mom was being, as she never wanted to help our team when she was on our team in the past!

So nobody promised us the world, they barely noticed we were there (except for M's Mom.) A few people were friendly, but gradually I realized that a few girls were trying out, and everyone was just thinking about their own players on the team. So much for the glories of being recruited by another team! Hah!

Club Soccer Pt. 2

So after our visit to the Gold team's scrimmage, we attended a practice. I think the Girl wanted to show everyone her skills, but that too was the opposite of what I would think should happen.

First, the coach had them do drills that the Girl has never done before, and frankly don't seem that useful in a game. So the Girl was not especially good at bouncing the ball off her head a lot of times in a row, or similar drills. And when it came to racing, she wasn't nearly the fastest, as this team has a girl that is one of the fastest in the nation in track meets.

Plus she hadn't worked out in awhile because of her ankle, and she got tired after all that racing.

But it was such a beautiful day at the local high school, and the Boy, home from college, was playing basketball outside there too. I could pretty much watch both my kids from the right vantage point. So I called K and told him to come down and watch.

It was right after he got there that the Girl wanted to go home. She was tired from the running and afraid she'd throw up, but the team was just starting to hand out pinnies for a scrimmage. So K got there and she told him she wanted to leave early, and he was very confused and disappointed, saying, "What?" and "Why?" a lot.

So it was kindof funny that neither the team nor the Girl put their best foot forward on their first opportunity. But on Wed they had a scrimmage against some older girls, and both the team and the Girl looked very good. The coach gave her a few instructions, and when she could understand him, she said what he told her was really smart.

But since it was right before the season started, we decided that we couldn't abandon her old team right now. But we feel like if the team stays in our community, the Girl would like to go there after this season ends. The Girl told the Gold team's coach (the crazy Hungarian), and he said she could still practice with them if she wanted to, which I thought was very generous.

She had the idea that if she played Club soccer instead of High School soccer, she'd be able to play basketball in High School. I don't know if she'll still want to be that busy when we get there, but right now it seems like a good idea.

Soccer Angst

The Girl's soccer team is at a critical point right now, having lost one of our best players to basketball this summer. Last year we didn't have enough girls, and no one wants to go through that again. So already we're challenged to get more (hopefully good!) girls.

Then a few weeks ago, the team was dealt a blow by the League when her team was demoted to the Bronze division. You may remember that they fought hard to not have to move down to Bronze from Silver last year, and their success was a true achievement, as a few games they even had to play short, with not enough players. That was seriously their main goal last season.

Well, apparently there's this whole bunch of processes that we parents know little about, and someone took his team to another Club, and challenged our place in our division. And they won on points for the season.

I sent a strongly-worded email to the "Commissioner", and she basically said it's a done deal and it's something that happens. That was hard to accept, but our coach said he was fighting it.

Then I heard him talking later about how maybe Bronze was better because we wouldn't have to drive so far. I told K and he said, "No, if they move down, the Girl is leaving the team." We hate to do it, but she's one of the best players on the team and she doesn't deserve to have to go down to Bronze. If anything, we could be trying to get her on a higher-division team (like Gold, which at this age is the best.)

It's hard because the Girl tried out for this team when they were first starting it, when she was 9 years old! We've always been loyal and I'm even sortof the team manager.

So I told K he'd better tell Coach that, as I didn't want him to get any bad surprises later. So K told him at the last practice, a week ago, and K said he looked SO sad and was saying, "No, K, don't leave us! That would just kill us!" So of course we felt even worse. It was maybe the worst thing he ever had to tell somebody.

The way we found our, actually, is that a friend of ours who lives in our neighborhood called, and said that her husband noticed we were moved down to Bronze and did we want to join HER team, which is still in Silver. We started out in soccer together when both our girls were about 5, and she was previously with the local (expensive) Club, VC, but last year moved to an even more expensive Club down the way (LCFC). Actually, this LCFC had been taking players from lots of teams, and were up to 3 teams in this age group.

This friend (Mary J) has a daughter that is also good (if short), and is on the Silver team that moved up from Bronze last year. We told her the Coach was trying to appeal our drop to Bronze, but we'd get back to her if it didn't change.

Then we told the Girl about the team getting moved, and she surprised us by saying, "Maybe I should check out VC." Since it's in our area, some of her friends are on the team, and this summer she's been all about making new friends. But VC's only team in our age group was at the bottom of the Bronze league, so that wasn't really a better option.

So K started looking on the internet, and saw that VC's web site claims that they have just started a Gold team! How the heck did that happen? Where did this Gold team come from?

Out of curiosity, I emailed the person indicated on the web site, and asked him where the girls for this team came from. He never answered that question, but instead was saying my deadline to change teams was this Friday. Finally I convinced him that we haven't signed yet for the year, so there is no need to change by Friday. A few days later I got an email from someone else saying he is the coach of this Gold team, and asked that I call him.

I felt a little guilty about that, as I wasn't really trying to start the ball rolling somewhere else, I was just trying to get some information. I felt like I was cheating on our coach! So I said a prayer that the "Commission" changed their minds and moved us back to Silver.

That night I got a call from our Coach, saying we were moved back up to Silver. Yay!!! He said it took a lot of work, so maybe it was good that we lit a fire under him. He even got us into a better division geographically, so that we don't have to drive as far as we did in Silver North. Now we're in Silver East.

Coach was so happy that he had an impromptu BBQ at his house, and we went to celebrate a little bit. He was joking and thanking K for sending him into a depression last week.

I was talking with a friend who was there, whose daughter is on a Gold team, and she said that the coach for LCFC's Gold team took his team to VC, and you have to take a minimum of 7 players to stay in the same bracket. So THAT's where VC got their Gold team! And the Girl probably won't know most of the girls on THAT team, if any.

Now all the Girl's current team needs is a few more (hopefully good!) girls! Maybe I'll say a prayer for that next.

With friends like you,

Ok, so I mentioned before about K’s good friend Dan who was selling his house and buying a new one, but didn’t want to use me because he wanted “to keep his friends friends and his business separate.” It seems he'd had a bad experience hiring a friend of his before.

Now I’ve been in the business long enough to know that it’s full of disappointment – next door neighbors, acquaintances, even people who ask you to help them sometimes let you down. So I try to be understanding – I know friends sometimes have prior relationships with Realtors, etc.

But this wasn’t like that. He didn’t know anyone already, and he went out and found strangers to help him. At one point, after K advised him not to talk to me about it, he decided that he’d let me help him look in one little area, but of course that didn’t work out.

The weekend after he sold his home in Palmdale, he made an offer in Burbank with another realtor that was ultimately accepted. And now he keeps insisting that they’re having us over soon so we can see their new place!

My sister says that it speaks to his paranoia more than to my abilities, but when I think about how much money it would have been, I just can't see a way to be OK with that. Yet.

My feelings about the subject are summed up by Dan’s former neighbor, who is also a Realtor and probably also pissed at Dan. At a party at his house, I was saying that I’d made friends and lost friends in this business, and she said, “If someone knows you work on commission, and they don’t use you? They’re not your friend.” They get downgraded to acquaintances – people I’ve known for awhile or even like, but they’re not really friends.

So it's sad. When they first told me they were moving closer to us, I was really happy and excited. We used to be close, but after he got married and moved farther away, we grew apart. Part of that was not being invited over or his wife coming over our house for at least 5-8 years. But this was a chance to put ALL THAT (and more) behind us.

And now he thinks we're coming over all the time? I feel like he's insisting that I tell him its all OK, like the time he made me hug him through the car window. All I will think about when I see his house now is how nice it would have been if we could ALL be happy about it. About all the presents I would have bought them and how happy we'd all be. About how he says they moved here to be closer to us, but then did the one thing that would really piss me off.

Personally, I wonder if it isn't a Freudian thing where part of him doesn't really want to be friends with us at all. But when I talk about Freudian things, the Girl says I'm taking things too literally.

K is such a good person, so much better than me. He'll be able to go over there and act somewhat happy for them. This is the most angry I've ever seen him get towards a friend, though, and I see him making moves to cut down on the amount of Dan in our lives. I've told him not to, that he's usually so forgiving, but even he is having trouble this time.

I guess I am happy for them, but I'm more personally and professionally disappointed. And I don't think it's my job to make him feel better about the choices he's made by forcing myself to go over there and make it all better for him before I actually feel any better.

I think that we're in this world to practice forgiveness, and that's why I'm getting so many opportunities to practice. I'm sure in time I'll see that this was the best thing, but right now it's hard to see.

This is me, complaining and trying to move on.

Dodger Game

We had been planning to do one thing every week while The Girl is on summer vacation. So this week we went to a Dodger game. Dodgers vs. Florida Marlins.

The game started at 7:10 and we were there a little early. We saw some tv announcers getting ready near us, and one of them waved to us.

There were some funny girls sitting behind us, obviously looking for someone in particular. It turned out to be Mike Stanton, who is a local boy who got picked up by the Florida Marlins. They were excited to see him and ran down and waved, and he waved back at them.

This is the very player that hit a home run with 3 men on base, which gave the Marlins all the runs they got in the entire game. Enough to beat the Dodgers.

When we got home the Boy said this player Mike S was now on his fantasy team. Since he came out the same time as Stephen Strasburg. he didn't get any attention, but he's really good!

I heard one girl say, "Remember how good his butt used to look in his football uniform?" and another girl said, "Oh, yeah, I remember!"

Also funny, the Bachelor Ryan somethingorother got to throw the second first pitch. I didn't realize at first who it was, then a lot of booing was going on. The Girl yelled, "get a girlfriend!" and some guy behind me yelled, "You're a media whore!" V. funny.

His pitch didn't make it to the plate, by the way. This resulted in more booing from the crowd, but he just smiled and waved and walked away.


Well, it was cold for a summer night, but we had a good time. This summer has been really cool - I remember 2 years ago when the Boy graduated it was so hot that everyone's AC blew the transformer in the power pole, and we sat and watched as they fixed it.

The Boy is moving into his first apartment. One of his roommates, his best friend from High School, is living with him again. I think it's ironic that this friend of his seemed so judgemental about my having a list of stuff the Boy needed to do, but he didn't understand that without the list the Boy was not doing anything! No chores, nothing. He even told his Mom, who came to a party at our house to meet me because she'd heard about this list.

So now this friend gets to teach the Boy how to do dishes. Ha!

Where is her country?

It turns out the maids accidentally took the Girl's cleats. I didn't call them for awhile, as the timing didn't seem right for them to have taken them, but finally (after looking and looking for them) I called and spoke to the daughter of one of the maids, as she speaks the best English. She asked the other maid, and found that she did see them, but has already sent them to "her country."

They were just in a white plastic drawstring bag, on a certain chair, so they just mixed it up with stuff I'd given them. I'm constantly (it seems) going through my stuff and getting rid of things. The Girl does it even more than I do, so lately I'd been just giving it to them instead of Goodwill. Well, at least we know what happened to them!

The Girl is mad, tho, and imagines that someone in another country is running around in her soccer cleats. She's mad that she now has to wear what she calls "clown shoes."

She's second on a waiting list for a camp that starts in a week, so we'll see what happens with that.

Soccer and Internships

Things have continued to be challenging with the Girl's soccer summer. First, she yelled at me to be quiet ("Shut up" were her exact words!) during the game (when I wasn't even talking to her BTW) and got duly punished by not getting to go to a party that day.

Next, at another game, she shouted at her teammates to "get the fucking ball!" I said "Girl! Watch your language!" The coach asked what she said, and I just said she cursed. He thought about it and said, "It's nothing I wouldn't have said. Just let her play." At home she did get punished, however, because we had an agreement about cursing, that we wouldn't censor her TV or movie watching at this age as long as she doesn't say those words.

I told her I like it that she cares about the game, I don't mind if she has an edge, but she can't go around cursing like a sailor! So she'd made her peace with not seeing R rated movies for awhile, when she discovered that a TV show she liked was rated TV-14. And she's 13. Arghhhhhhhh! She didn't even know there was such a thing.

So the next game, instead of cursing, she took off running after getting scored on and pushed a boy on the other team! I knew as soon as she took off that she was very angry, but it was a long way to run, and I saw her rethinking the whole thing by the time she got there. But she couldn't just stop after running all that way, so all she did was give him a little push. But still. She got a red card and miraculously, the kid on the other team got a yellow card. So I guess the ref knew that the boy had done something to provoke her.

I wasn't going to punish her because I figured she got a red card and had hopefully learned another lesson. When she came over to where I was sitting, she was crying and saying I didn't hear what the boy had been saying to her. I didn't really say anything, but then she demanded to go home. Well, I didn't like that idea at all. It was bad enough she could no longer help her team (and she's the sweeper), but to just leave?

But she was very upset and beseeching me "Mom can't you just try to understand?" when it was halftime. I decided to go ask the coach what he thought.

But when I got to him, he said, "Go ask the ref to change it to a yellow card!"

So I did. He knew me because I was the one who paid him and gave him the cards at the beginning of the game, so I ran over there and asked him if he couldn't please change it to a yellow card because the boys were saying bad things to her and upset her, but she's very sorry and will never do it again. And he said OK.

I didn't know if he meant OK, go away, or OK I'll change it. But he did say OK. Like I said, this league is somewhat casual.

But the coach went to the other side and I couldn't get the girl to go onto the field or to see the coach! She insisted she was out no matter what I said. So I stalked over to the other side and asked the coach if she shouldn't be in since the ref said ok. He said, "The ref said OK?" and I said yes. So he shouted "Girl!" but she didn't come over. He told me to go get her.

So I stalked back and I was SO, so mad at her. If she didn't get her butt into that game I was planning all sorts of punishment and possible torture. But I went and told her that the coach wanted to see her. She said she was too embarrassed to go back, but I told her it was a better way to get out her energy than crying.

So she went over and after some discussion with the ref and a kid on the other team and mutual apologizing, she got back into the game. She played well and there were no other incidents or issues.

The coach didn't get angry with her, because frankly he wishes some of the other girls cared as much as she does. But her brother advised her to just take her anger out by playing harder or better. Her father told her that letting the other team get to her head is letting them take her out of the game - she's taking HERSELF out of the game. I told her that she needs to learn to control her temper or I'm going to send her to a counselor, which I totally mean, because I'm hyper sensitive right now to violence and cursing and people not being able to control their tempers. (ie my sister)

And any time we get everything together and take her to a game, we're staying for the WHOLE game (unless the police are called.)

Thankfully things didn't escalate this last weekend, but she did manage to lose the bag with her cleats and shin guards. It was around 7am and we were a little cranky anyway. K kept asking her where they were and she got frustrated and yelled at him to let her think. So K and I were desperately searching her room, our cars, etc,. and every time we went into the living room she was standing there, thinking.

She never did find them, so we moved on to Plan B - my old cleats from my brief coaching career. A week later we still have no idea where they are.

She claims I probably moved them and don't remember because I'm getting older and that's the kind of thing I do now. Unfortunately, this could be true.

Meanwhile, there's the Boy

During his spring break we put together his resume and he applied for a lot of internships at once. One company in Santa Monica was interested in him, but he wasn't ready to start yet as he had to finish his semester at school. When he finished his term, he emailed her again but this time got no response.

When he got home he started applying for jobs like crazy, but seemed to give up on internships. I looked on Craigslist and found some and emailed them to him, but he didn't follow up on them. It made me sad, because it reminded me of basketball - how he gave up at the first sign of an obstacle.

I hate to see him give up when things get difficult, but I also remember how hard these things were for me at his age. So I offered to help him, because it's very easy for me - being in marketing and sales for all these years. So this time when I searched Craigslist, when I saw something interesting I'd just send an email and his resume from his email account.

I only did this a few times, and miracle of miracles, he got an internship in nearby Burbank! SO much closer than Santa Monica! So he's all happy and thanking me, but honestly it was his resume that got it for him. And being available immediately seems to be somewhat important in getting internships.

I'm hoping once he gets some confidence he'll be less easily discouraged. I tried to show him how putting it out there and just trying can actually get you what you want, so hopefully he will learn to keep trying.

Next, K and I are in a dilemma regarding getting another car. I don't want to keep driving the Boy around and would like to get another car that's good on gas, but I've been meeting a lot of resistance from K. Finally he said that he should be the one to get a new car, and he wanted an El Camino. So I found him one in our neighborhood, and he thought about it, and it just doesn't make any sense gas-wise. So hopefully we've decided to get another small car - now I just need to make it happen.

I have to say that I've been loving life lately - soccer in the daytime and Laker games at night. It's been a lot of fun.

Jury Duty 2010

Today I was excused from Jury Duty. Yay! I was willing to try, but the Prosecutor was right to cut me loose, as I had a low probability of finding for his seemingly preferred punishment.

It was interesting because it was in Lance Ito's courtroom, and he's a familiar face. It was kind of fun getting asked questions by him. I like seeing people from all over and being downtown.

It was bad because it was a murder case, a 5-week trial, and we'd be hearing bad things and seeing bad pictures the whole time. The defendant even looked pretty scary, and kept looking over at us and writing something in his tablet.


I like my drive to jury duty, and I always go the same way. I take the 2 Freeway south to where it runs out, by my old house in Silverlake. It turns into Glendale Ave, which I take south and to Echo Park and the huge Foursquare church built by Aimee Simple McPhereson. I think that was her name. I find her interesting.

I drive by Echo Park and see the big water fountain and the big birds in the water (swans? ducks?) I go left at Temple, and it takes me right downtown. I turn right at Grand and go right past the Music Center and the Disney Somethinghouse, where jurer parking is currently located.

If you walk downhill from there, there is a walkway between the court buildings, where you can buy a Starbucks before court. These don't seem to be a problem at Security, which you have to pass downstairs. Then there are only 4 elevators that go upstairs, of which only 2 are usually working. Today there were 3, but there were SO many people, and I was SO hot. And I was wearing as sleeveless a shirt as you can get!

Anyway, I will miss my pals, Juror #189 and 198, but maybe we will meet again some day.

Later, I went home and voted.



How's that for doing my Civic duty?

Interesting

Lately my life has been a little too interesting. For instance, I went out for a walk yesterday with K and my dog. Our home is in a hilly area, and we've been trying to get into shape hiking up the hills.

We were almost home when a little girl who was riding her bike asked if she could pet the dog. I was about to answer her when K yelled out, "Don't hit your sister!" and I looked up to see the little girl's older sister barreling down the hill toward us!

She didn't seem to know how to use her brakes, as that never seemed to be an option. It all happened so quickly. She could have turned, but she was going too fast. She could have hit her sister, me, or the car. But she aimed for the space in back of the car, and went flying off the retaining wall into our neighbor's yard!

I don't know HOW she didn't get hurt, but she landed on a bouncy horse which could also have been bad, but it seemed to have broken her fall. K picked her up out of the rubble of her bike and the horse and only her wrist seemed to be hurt. It's strange that our neighbor even has one of those, as they don't have any children! Not young ones, anyway.

When we got home we could laugh about how bad it could have been, but just because she was OK. It was very nearly tragic. I asked K, "But the horse was OK, right?" and he said, "Uh,... no."

On another front, I'm still in play for jury duty. The few times I've gone, they've been full of very hard questions (What's the hardest decision you ever had to make?) that have been heavy on my mind. Of course I'm not thrilled about having to "judge" someone else, but then it's the system we have. I wasn't trying to get out of it, but ultimately I don't really know if I'm capable of making the decision they're asking me to.

Or if I really want to sit and listen to all the bad things that have happened to get to this point.

So that's been heavy, but I do love going downtown. I take the little Dash downtown bus for a quarter, and I can go all sorts of interesting places. Next time I'll try to go to the Museum of Contemporary Art (MOCA), as I hear they'll let in jurors for free.

I also like to go to Union Station as it's so retro and cool. Olvera street is right nearby, too.

Off-season tax work so far has been fraught with headaches, but then I guess most people that come in at odd times usually have some sort of problem with the IRS. I like helping people and everything, maybe the hours were just too long. But right now I'm on a break because of jury duty, and might try to stay off the tax schedule for awhile.

And make more money, hopefully, doing other things.

Not Today

Today I was feeling overwhelmed, looking around my house I see so many messes that need to be cleaned up. But today my horoscope said not to worry about it. Really!

*******
Resist the urge to run around tidying everything up today. The messier things are, the more possibilities reside within them. If you just shove everything in a box, you might cut yourself off from some extremely important opportunities. Give yourself plenty of room to grow and expand today. Try a little stretching or yoga to keep your body flexible -- and work the same kind of magic on your mind!
*******

So that's it folks! Not today....

This & that

Phone trouble, Vegas

We went to Vegas for a few days to celebrate all of our birthdays and K's end of the Basketball season. For a few months we don't see much of him, so it was nice to have some down time.

Honestly, some of the things we do there we could do at home, but I feel more relaxed getting away. At home if I read I'm often thinking of other things I should be doing instead.

We stayed at the Flamingo again, in one of their redone "Go" rooms. It was really nice - retro white plastic furniture and a frosted glass bathroom. The bathroom had a TV with its own remote, and K would say "I'm going to the bathroom to watch the game!" It was fun. There was even a Bose speaker in the ceiling of the bathroom.

We've been having all kinds of family telephone and other technical difficulties. K dropped his phone in the street one night, and it's never been the same. On the trip, however, it decided not to hang up anymore, so he spent 30 minutes trying to end a call! We have lots of minutes, but not unlimited.

K was so frustrated and angry that he cracked his phone in half. When that happened, the battery popped off the back, and I felt like saying, "Duh! We could have just taken the battery out!" But it was quite a problem for a little while. Later my battery died while we were trying to find each other, and it nearly led to a complete meltdown.

Why, oh why are we having so many technical difficulties?
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Getting some credit
The Boy was home for K's birthday, and had reached a crisis point in his college career. The school raised the GPA requirement for the Film School, probably just because they have SO many applicants, but the Boy's GPA is just under 3.0.

So funny enough, he's thinking of majoring in something where he can be a sports coach, which is what I suggested he do in the first place. But instead of trying to get onto the boy's basketball team, he took a basketball class where his skills were noticed and he was invited to practice against the girl's team. So he still will end up with a Coach's recommendation.

He's going to try to bring up his grades and see if he can get into the Film school later, but he's now working on a Plan B too.

Anyway, we decided that instead of getting a summer job, he should try to get an internship to get experience and contacts. Which is how people really seem to get jobs in Film, anyway. So he asked me to help him with a Resume, which is one thing I happen to be really good at. So it was easy for me to help him, and within an hour we'd banged out a pretty good sounding resume.

He sent it out on some web site and got 2 replies! But he still has to finish his semester, so he can't intern quite yet.

So it made me happy that I could help him and hopefully I got some credit with him, which is a good thing. Plus I cooked bacon for breakfast, and my kids are always appreciative of that.
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Soccer in springtime

The Girl's soccer team is playing in a Pasadena league that's really flexible - like sometimes we play boys teams or mixed teams or sometimes the kids seem a bit older than our kids. So I think of this league as not being that important, but good practice for them.

Eighty percent of the time the Girl is one of the best girls on the team, fastest, fiercest, great kicks, and I am so proud to be her mother. The other 20% of the time, if she gets hurt or even too, too tired, she gets mad and wants out.

And the coach resists taking her out, as she is so important to the team's defense. So lately she has taken to just stopping playing. People just run by her and she hunches over and lets them. In the last game she sat down! In the middle of the field, in the middle of the last quarter, because she'd been stung by a bee in the first quarter.

That was so embarrassing. I feel her pain; she says since there's no subbing except at certain times, she has to go down to come out. OK then, take a knee, but sitting down? I have to be careful how I respond to her, mostly I can't say anything. If I even ask how she is, she tends to snap at me because she knows everyone wants her to stay in the game. So I try to be supportive and yet not say much of anything.

K wants me to have a talk with her and tell her she has to stay in the game for the sake of her team, but I don't want to have that fight with her. I try to pick my battles, and I think telling her that will just make her more negative, and she'll accuse us of not caring about her. And of course, I do care about her and don't want her to be hurt.

He can tell her that if he wants to, and see how far that gets him.

Bad Mood

The other day I was in a bad mood. First, I woke up at 4am because of a 4.4 earthquake, and then had trouble getting back to sleep. I kept waiting for an aftershock or a bigger quake.

When I finally got back to sleep my dreams were tiring. Often I dream I'm on vacation, which is nice. But sometimes I dream that I'm packing, and those dreams can make me wake up feeling drained. I kept dreaming about things I'd forgotten to pack, so I kept going back for things and sometimes not finding them.

When I was on my way and it was too late to turn back, I realized (in my dream) that I'd forgotten my migraine medication, and was duly worried about that. That was my first clue that I was getting a headache (in real life).

So I awoke headachy and tired, but I took a pill and tried to rally. When it got to be around lunchtime, K started telling me that Dan was coming over, as though I might want to be gone when he got here.

About the whole home-sale situation, K just told Dan not to talk to me about it, and that pretty much told him how I felt about that. Since then I've seen them at one of K's games, but I was perfectly nice. His wife looked scared that I was mad at them, but I was nice as always.

As I said, we almost lost him last year. So because of that, I can't very well get too angry with him. If he says we shouldn't work together, I'll just trust that he might have a good reason (his wife).

But I did have to go to the store to get some food for lunch, and when I finally went out, Dan was sitting in his car talking on his cell phone.

So I went ahead and got in the car and suddenly he said out his window, "Is that how it is now? I come over and you leave?"

I told him I needed to get some food for lunch, and before I knew it he was out of his car and sticking his head through my van window! So I hugged him and asked, "What's this all about?"

And he said, "I just need a hug."

I asked K about it later and Dan didn't tell him anything that was bothering him or that he needed a hug. And K doesn't usually like me even talking to men friends, let alone hugging them. But he didn't say anything about it.

I thought it was weird, but then I was in a bad mood.

Odds and ends

Today the maids broke our shower holder. We still have the spray part, but you can't really put it back in it's holder because it's broken.

It used to be a joke with us that nearly every time they came they broke something. There are two of them and they work together for about 2 hours every two weeks. They broke my coffee maker, unraveled a rug, got the sliding glass door off its track, the list goes on.

I like them because they clean to my Mother's standards - really scrub things down. But I think all this breakage just goes to show that you CAN be too clean!

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The Girl came home from school on Friday outraged because there's a new girl at the school, and all the guys are ga-ga over her. They even have a "dibbs list" or depth chart among the guys as to who can ask her out first, and she was impressed that the guys were really going to honor it.

She's outraged, though, because it's not that the new girl is prettier than all the girls at the school, its just that she's NEW.

I thought that was funny.

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I had my 50th birthday and it was fun. I had been thinking of doing something big for it (and I still might go to Greece or something), but I accidentally offended my sister E, so I might not. I had invited my Mom to do something with me and the Girl (she turns 13 in March), but she only called back to see if I asked her because I wanted her to pay. So I'm officially giving up on her, as far as doing "mother/daughter" things together. She just doesn't seem to understand why anyone would do that.

Anyway, we made reservations for one night at the Bonaventure downtown, because it promised us a view and room service, which seems terribly extravagant to me. We got there early and walked around downtown. I love the library and Angels Flight, the rest of it was pretty new to me. They are converting lots of the old buildings into lofts, which look pretty cool. We stopped at Wolfgang Puck's to eat, which was good. K got bacon-wrapped meatloaf, and it came on a big bed of mashed potatoes, with a ketchup sauce decorating the plate. He loved it. I had pasta Putanesca because it has olives, and no one but me in my family likes olives, so I can't make it at home.

We had a great view of lights when we got back. We didn't know about the revolving restaurant at the top, or we would have gone up there. The next morning there was some mixup where the kitchen didn't seem to know anything about our coupons for room service. But when K explained we were there for my birthday, everyone got so nice! They even rolled it in on a tray and kept wishing me Happy Birthday. It was fun.

The Boy came home the following weekend. I was pretty impressed that he remembered my birthday at all, so I was happy when he came home. He and the Girl made me breakfast on Saturday morning, and we went out to dinner that night.

Before he came home, the Girl was doodling or something, but I noticed she had made a post-it note say "TV" really big. Then when the boy came home he brought an "extra" TV that he wants to keep here for his apartment next year. The Girl went and stuck the post-it note onto the TV.

I wondered out loud, "Wow, you wrote a note that said TV and a TV showed up!" She got excited and said, "I should say "boyfriend" or "laptop"!" So right now there's a post-it note on the front door that says "$1,000".

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The Girl's basketball team played about 4 more close games, and only lost one. Wow! Tonight they won the championship. Yay!

K's team won their Division, which had never been done before by that school. They were really looking forward to their first game at State, where they'd play Sierra Canyon, the top team in the League that K's team beat during the regular season. They were the only team to beat them all season, so a rematch would have been fun.

Unfortunately, they found that one of the boys had too many credits or something, which disqualified them. It's hard to keep track of the kids credits because they change and quit schools so much, so it's really a shame.

Anyway, it was an exciting season.

Now back to soccer.