Feeling Better

I could barely wake up yesterday, and felt low, negative energy all day.

I finally decided I had a headache, and took a couple pills. I still fell asleep in the car while waiting at soccer practice. I slept SO much. I'm sure it's PMS, which I hate.

It was so bad yesterday, that I avoided making any calls, because all that bad energy was making things go wrong and suddenly nothing seemed possible. I tried to think positive thoughts and get to a positive-feeling place, but it wasn't happening.

I hate it when I feel like that - like everything's just a little too hard and I can't do it anymore.

I'm so glad I'm feeling better today. It's amazing how you take for granted feeling good until you feel badly.

The Boy has been feeling under the weather too. He had his wisdom teeth pulled a week ago, and seemed to suffer a LOT more than I did. Then, he came down with a cold. So his jaw hurt, and he had a sore throat.

Then he went to the Prom over the weekend, and stayed up all night. So now his jaw hurts, he has a cold, and he's exhausted. Poor kid.

The Girl has been doing well. She said she was having trouble breathing after practices, so I took her to the Dr. They said she has "Exercise Induced Asthma" and gave her an inhaler. She's very excited about that.

She and a couple of friends decided to enter the school's Talent Show, and got together THE DAY BEFORE AUDITIONS with only an hour to develop their act!

Now I know where the phrase "get your act together" comes from. If you want to have an act, you have to get it together!

Amazingly, they came up with a dance and it was really cute! They got accepted into the show, so they must have performed it pretty well with only a little practicing.

Later that week she came up with another act for the Girl Scout talent show, which was very low key. We took our dog, and she did a cute dance and induced the dog with treats to dance along with her. It was very cute.

To help her out, I got the great idea of not feeding the dog that morning. The Boy came home from school hungry, and made 3 Toad-in-the-holes to eat. He took them downstairs to the coffee table, then came back upstairs for some hot sauce. When he returned, the dog had eaten one of his eggs!

He was SO mad at the dog because he was SO hungry, but I told him that the dog probably was too. It was my fault, because of my bright idea to not feed him.

Don't judge me. I learn a little something every day.

Idol Chatter

The View

I missed yesterday's fireworks between Rosie and Elizabeth. It's just as well, I was getting uncomfortable with them yelling at each other and not listening during the last week or so. Elizabeth is even worse now that she's pregnant. I think being pregnant can make women more self-righteous and she's more argumentative than ever.

I just don't like it when they don't LISTEN to each other, and no one can get a word in edgewise now, because Elizabeth keeps giving more than one example and repeating herself. That doesn't seem like a real debate if no one else can talk.

It was a mistake for Rosie to think E would stick up for her, as she never agreed with her in the first place. Elizabeth would rather claim that she didn't understand what Rosie was trying to say, which was: If we were Iraqis, who would WE feel were terrorists? The people who invaded their country - that's who.

It's not rocket science, tho I'm not sure the metaphor was correct. Since we've invaded their country, we're more likely seen as oppressors, not terrorists. Terrorists are people without power who want to make a big statement, and I think we're as much at risk with people like that originating within our country (i.e. Oklahoma bombing, school shootings, etc.) as from without. But it's almost certainly our policies that create such anger towards us.

I was glad to see that Rosie likes Amy Winehouse too.

http://www.rosie.com/blog/


American Idol

OK, I think 2 HOURS is too long to milk a show that's only going to reveal what you want to see in the last few minutes. And that's not even counting the Red Carpet event that they tacked on in front of it.

Paula Abdul's nose looked fine - not broken at all.

So I kept switching channels until the end - boy, Dustin is still fighting with people on Celebrity Fit Club. He was arguing with one of the judges that he didn't even need to lose weight - to the point where the judge tried to get up and kick his ass! Why is he on the show if he doesn't want to lose weight?

And what's this about a porn tape of Dustin? Never heard of it.

Jordan sounded wonderful last night, so I'm glad she won.

Do you think I watch too much TV?

If nobody lied

I feel like I've been in a fog all day. Like I've been walking around with songs flying around my head. Sad, disappointed songs.

Maybe it would help if I didn't keep playing them over and over again on the cd player or itunes. Ya think?

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If everyone cared,
and nobody cried
If everyone loved
and nobody lied

If everyone shared
and swallowed their pride
There'd be a day
when nobody died
-Nickelback
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I heard somewhere that the goal of parenting a teenager is similar to that of a 2 year old - to get through it with your relationship intact. Right now I feel like I don't know how to do that anymore. I feel like our relationship is changing RIGHT NOW, and I don't know how to change that.

I checked up on the Boy yesterday, and in addition to all the things he's done lately, I find out he's lying to me. I guess I always knew that he could be, but I always hope he's not.

But now I find out that he is, and I don't know how to trust him anymore. Whatever he says to me now, I'm like "whatever". Is it a lie? I don't know.

He tried to deflect trouble by saying that if I read his Myspace, that was a big violation of his privacy. I told him I had several methods and didn't want him to know what they were. He said I wasn't denying it, so finally I did. But I didn't look him in the eye.

And I could feel him looking at me in confusion, wondering if I was telling the truth or not. And I felt like saying, "How does it fucking feel?"

I don't know why I'm taking it personally, I know it isn't meant that way. It's not as if I was above lying when I was that age.

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Flames to dust
lovers to friends
why do all good things
come to an end?
-Nelly Furtado
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I guess it just makes me sad that he's not my fun Boy anymore. He's forcing me to be the "Bad Guy", and altho I've always been a parent more than a friend, it seems he's not any part my friend anymore. He never wants to be with us, that's for sure. But perfectly normal, I know.

I just miss the days when he was younger. As much as I feel I'm losing him now, I can only hope that someday he comes back to be my friend again.

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Later he came to me and admitted his lie - tho I think I'd backed him into a place where he had to. He says he's sorry and he won't do it anymore.

He's almost done with his Junior year, so he's close to being a Senior. So I don't know how much control I can continue to have of him anyway. I know some parents who are like, "My son's a senior now, so he does what he wants."

The problem with the Boy (and also a few of his friends) is that they're doing things now that could sabotage themselves.

Pop Media Notes

American Idol

For a long time I thought this season was going to be between LaKisha and Melinda, but LaKisha seemed to lose steam along the way. I think it was confusing when Simon started accusing her of yelling during her songs. I really felt it when she sang "Stayin' Alive" and sang the lyrics as "It's alright, it's OK, I'm going to make it anyway." As in anyway, if I don't win.

And it's funny that this week, the judges didn't like any of the songs. If you ask me, it's that the Bee Gee's songs are hard for other people to sing differently. Or show off their voices on. But I loved Jordan's version of To Love Somebody (my favorite Bee Gees song). It's starting to seem to me now like she might win the whole thing. Melinda seems to wear the same expression after every song - an expression that says, "What? Who? Me?"

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Kelly Clarkson - I got her last CD and came away feeling that either someone had given her a very bad time, or she just made a theme out of being angry at a guy for a CD. But now, her new song is more of the same!! Why all the anger, Kelly?

Carrie Underwood - I like her new song "Before he Cheats" - she looks like Jane in X-men 3, with her walking down the street and things exploding all around her. Very dramatic. Messing up someone's car is one of those things that look satisfying when someone else does it, but people would just be mad at me if I did it. And, while kissing another girl isn't against the law, I'm pretty sure vandalizing someone's car IS. If only she hadn't carved her name into the leather seats, maybe they wouldn't have known exactly who did it!

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Dancing with the Stars


The night Billy Ray Cirus pulled off his partner's wig was one of the funniest things I've ever seen!!! Poor guy, he seemed pretty freaked out after that...

And to think I'd been scared to watch it because of Heather Mill's leg!

Now we're down to the best dancers, so it's going to be tough. I'm rooting for Mohamad Ali's daughter or Apollo Ono.

Nelly Furtato - didn't she have bangs about 6 months ago? How were they slicked back without showing? Did she get extentions? If so, they looked like healthy hair! What's the deal with that?

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Working for Jerry Springer

This show is amazing. It's amazing to see these people whose main goal in life is to find people willing to make fools of themselves on TV. Sometimes they have to help get them worked up, or give them suggestions about what to say or things to do that might make a good show. Some look the part of shady or sleazy, but a few look surprisingly all-American. I would hate to have that job. I hope they get paid a lot.

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Celebrity Fit Club

OMG! I didn't even know this was on again, but now with regular shows ending their seasons, I'm checking around the channels more. Maureen McCormick (from the Brady Bunch) is on it! How shocking is that? This season, people are on who don't necessarily need to lose a LOT of weight, but then even 20 pounds can be a lot. Anyway, that was very surprising. And everyone seems to be fighting with Dustin, the guy who played Screech on "Saved by the Bell."

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Making Menudo

I found this on Spanish MTV, but it's broadcast in English. It's great! It's like American Idol building a latino band!

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The Sopranos
There's a good discussion (bwo letters to the editor) at Salon about the last episode of the Sopranos. Someone launched an interesting theory that Tony killed Christopher because he envied his ability to avoid responsibility, and that's why he took off to Vegas too - to be irresponsible for once.

It's so sad that Tony seems to dislike everyone close to him lately. He had a chance to be the benevolent "Godfather" figure to one of his guy's families, but he instead did what was cheapest for him. I wonder where all this selfishness will end.

I think a good ending would be for the son to get killed, then Meadow runs over to help and get killed, and then Tony retaliate and get killed. Boom, boom, boom. Then the police show up at Carmela's door to tell her the whole family is dead.

That would be a good ending.

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Note of Clarification:

Just so you all won't think the Girl is not compassionate, she told Dee later that she shouldn't judge a guy because he has a glass eye. She said, "What if everyone was afraid of Lincoln because he had a mole?"

I didn't even know that Lincoln had a mole.

Water Balloons

The Girl has a friend, Dee, whose parents have been split up about a year now. He lives right around the corner, renting, and the Wife stayed in the house a few blocks away, and they share care and custody of the 2 girls. They haven't gotten divorced, tho, and altho the Husband dated briefly once in the beginning, he's seemed to think that they might go to counseling and reconcile since then.

Anyway, because he lives around the corner, we see them when the girls play together a lot, or when we ask each other to pick up our children at school. We see him pretty often.

The day before yesterday, when I picked the Girl up at school, she said that her friend, Dee, was having a big problem. What, I asked. Well, her mom was dating someone and Dee was very upset. I asked why, and the Girl didn't say, but said, "I've got a few tricks and some water balloons up my sleeve!" Huh?

Later, she said she had to keep the phone by her, because her friend was going to call if she needed any help. She was glad her friend asked her, because she knew just what to do.

I asked, "Does it have anything to do with water balloons?"

and she answered, "Maaayyybeee...." Does she think she's living in a Disney movie?

The next day when I picked her up, she said her friend had found out all about the man her mom was dating, and he was no big deal. First, he has a glass eye. Second, he's been married twice. And third, he has 4 children. I asked which of those was the most troubling, and she said, "The glass eye! Dee said one eye would move and the other wouldn't!"

Later, Dee's dad stopped by to pick up something, and started telling me ALL about how he's finding out about this guy and text messaging him to find out who he is and to make sure he's not a sexual predator or anything. He was really kindof freaking out, and started reading me the text message arguement he started having with this guy.

I felt like telling him, "Listen, dude, I hear he's got a glass eye! It's no big deal!" But I didn't want to get into the middle. Next thing I know he'll start messaging the mom and asking her if her new boyfriend has a glass eye.

At least I'll feel better if no water balloons are involved.

Teenage Drama

Over Spring Break, we let the Boy go camping with a bunch of friends. Then, when they got home, some drama errupted that made it necessary for the Boy to go outside and talk with his girl - for about 2 hours! On his way out I told him to be quick, and he was out there for 2 hours. Where was he? We weren't sure. Somewhere outside. So we grounded him for the weekend, as we've talked with him before about disappearing like that.

It turns out a friend of his has started smoking. Dope. He knows The Boy's against it, so he hides it from him now. But his friend asked the Girlfriend when she dropped him off if SHE wanted to. So The Boy convinced her come over, and spent 2 hours convincing her not to go. It was worth it and absolutely necessary to him.

The next day she said she was glad she didn't go. Then, that night, she wanted to go again. She's curious, her previous boyfriend was really controlling, and now she wants to be more free. The Boy is upset because he feels his friend is hitting on her, and she's not respecting his feelings.

His solution was to ask us if she could come over, because that way he could keep her from going. I might have folded because he was so good all day, but K hung tough and told him he might get off restriction tomorrow, but not today. He said, "Let me just talk to Mom." like I'm a creampuff or something.Hah! I told him he couldn't try to split us like that. So, no, she couldn't come over.

So she went out with his friends. He started crying and said, "Look what you've done. You could have prevented it, but because of you, she's doing it."

I told him she didn't seem like a very good girlfriend to not care about his feelings. I told him not to blame me, she's the one who did it. Was he planning on keeping her busy every day/night for the rest of the school year? Why couldn't she just wait until college?

Later he came downstairs for a hug. That's how upset he was. He sqeezed in between us on the couch like he used to when he was a LOT smaller. I told him that it does no good to try to control other people, or to try to change them. He asked what he should do, and I said, "She's a Senior. She's only in school with you a few more months. Just enjoy your time with her."

He was so in need of a diversion, he sat down and watched Pirates of the Caribean (II) with me. I think I liked the first one better. I kept getting confused about what was going on in this second one.

Later the Boy told me that in his anger, he threw his cellphone at the wall. Now it's broken. I'm months away from my 1-year anniv for this phone, so I doubt we're eligible for any free phones.

Sigh. Did I mention expensive? Teenagers are expensive, too. I may have a teenager without a cellphone for the summer...