I just couldn't understand this. I thought these people were my friends, I thought we were united in wanting to put together a team for the future, that would stay together and play together this year and get ready for next year, when things start to count. Just 2 weeks ago we had put together a huge gift basket for the Coach's daughter's wedding present!
People talked openly about some of the things the coach would say, but from the beginning they said he's a nice man and it wasn't that bad. It's funny that the two people who stuck behind the coach the most were the ones that were most bothered by things he'd say (including me). But I just thought about talking to him about it, not try to oust the guy! He was a great coach!
Although on Sunday the Head Coach, Troy, had said there would be a compromise, I figured the Crazy Czech would turn it down, as they kept saying he was resisting having an assistant. So I didn't go to the parent meeting they had at the next Tuesday practice, because I had decided I wasn't going to anymore "meetings" with these people.
Some friends on the team called me to say that on Monday these other parents had gone to the Club President and succeeded in getting the Coach fired. They announced at the "meeting" that Troy would be co-coaching with this other coach that everyone liked, named Eddie. I called the Crazy Czech and he said yes, he'd been prepared to have an assistant coach, but instead they called him in and fired him - not only from our team, but from his younger U12 team, that I know he really loved. That team loved him too, and I think that team pretty much broke up after that.
I just couldn't believe it. Why would these parents go about things this way? Why would they not "reach out" to everyone on the team and try to get more of a buy-in? Why did they just railroad over all of us? Why were divided by emails into people who knew (last year's team) and those who didn't (all the new players)? Why go over everyone's head to get their way?
I really liked most of those people too, thinking they were nice and even letting my daughter stay at their house so she could stay and help her team.
A little ticked, I replied to an email asking who could attend the Thanksgiving tournament, saying nicely that I wasn't sure we'd be around. I got a nice email back from the team Admin (wife) that said she knew it's a tough time of year, so please let her know because they have 3 girls willing to guest for us at the tournament. What? Really? My daughter is that dispensable?
It turns out they've targeted 3 girls from another team that broke up (Coach got fired and 2 players quit with him). That team is not as good and was not having a good season before the split.
So anyway, I was rocked. I really thought that they realized my daughter is a good player and were glad to have her on the team. The same with the girl we brought from our old team. All of us are not really that important? I just couldn't believe this. It really upset me and was on my mind for a good two weeks.
After the first week, I called the other parent that had spoken up in defense of the Coach, Laura, and she gave me the skinny on everything. She said all this talk about the Coach saying bad things and not wanting an assistant was all just a big smokescreen. What it really was about was these parents having their way with the coach.
She was actually copied on the emails, and that's how she knew, and that's why her husband called them selfish whiners. Basically this one mother complained that the Crazy Czech had promised that her daughter could play as striker once the defense was set, and was livid that he still asked her to play on defense sometimes. And I already mentioned about the goalie's family and the team admin's daughter. I don't know what the guy who thinks he's in charge (The Guz) had a beef about, other than the coach finally said something HE didn't like. I know the Coach was not blameless in this, but it does explain why he was getting so negative. It's too bad he played into their hands by saying the last few things about the Guz. After all, the Guz is such a PROUD family!
And somehow there was money involved, and that part I don't understand. I don't think it was the coach, but the club. Anyway, even though most of these people have a lot of money and still somehow got scholarships, these parents evidently had some financial reason for thinking that they coach should do what they said. That's why they were so angry and did what they did. And I suspect that The Guz, who thinks this is his team, was behind most of it. He has always seemed somehow covert to me.
And this made everything understandable. These people think their daughters are so good that it doesn't matter who plays with them. That's why they kept saying how good the team was last year, even though we added so many good players to the team. Last year they were short players, so their daughters got to play all the time. That's why they thought the team was so good last year, even though they only won one game and were scheduled to be relegated to a lower division. Don't they realize that next year is the year scouts will be looking for girls? All they seem to care about is RIGHT NOW.
So I was angry and disappointed in these people. It occurred to me that if enough of us banded together and quit the team, we could sink them to the bottom of our division and most of those parents would leave, but I really rose above myself this time. At first it was hard for me to look at any of them or say hi, but one of the other disenfranchised mothers who I hadn't really gotten to know came over and talked to me at the first game after the mutiny. She told me not to worry about these people, someday they will learn that this is not the way to do things. I had a really good talk with her while we lost that game.
So I got to the point where I could actually look these people in the eye and be cordial, but after that I think everyone was harder on each other. I know I was. I got to saying things like, "Come ON, strikers,let's SCORE." because that was really the team's biggest problem. These girls that want to be strikers used to be on defense, so they don't really know how to turn with the ball and push it forward. This one player that supposedly one of the fastest girls in the nation appears to be afraid of the ball, and somehow manages to always lose it. Before I used to applaud every effort, but I got to wanting results from these players who just had to have their way.
But then my friends daughter's went to very little playing time, and of course they didn't like that or think it was right. But one friend said that the Crazy Czech even told her that only her daughter and one other girl really knew how to play soccer. Really? My daughter doesn't know how to play? And then she said that all they do is push and get penalties, and I admitted that the Girl had a few from her slide-tackles, and she said, "That's because no one ever taught her how to do it right!" Really? She never does it right? And then, because she was so unhappy about her daughter not playing, one of them turned to me during a game and said (with a smile), "Well, this worked out well for you, didn't it? Your daughter gets to play." And I said, "Well, that's because she's on defense! Someone has to play defense so their daughters can 'play up'!"
So this hasn't been easy, even with the people on my side. K always pushes me to "do the right thing" which often means different things to both of us, but mostly we want to be supportive of our daughter and try to do whatever's best for her. And she had no problem finishing the season with this team, although she has grown to dislike a few of them. I tried to stay positive and always encourage her to do well.
And I sort of realized that we're the same in some ways. We all think our daughters are so good, but not all of us are right.
When all this happened we had 6 games left. We lost the first 3 games, and then won the last 3. So I guess the team ended up happy and stayed in their division. I personally feel a bit sad that my favorite friends on the team are gone now, and I don't know if I'll see them again. I'm stuck with these crazy soccer parents (backstabbing fuckwits) until after the Thanksgiving tournament. I used to like these people; now I wonder who they are.
Now we need to get through High School Soccer, which will hopefully be fun and drama-free for my daughter. Her school team's kick-off dinner was this weekend, and I didn't even want to go. I feel a bit burned by getting to know soccer parents.
Hopefully she will have fun.
No comments:
Post a Comment