If nobody lied

I feel like I've been in a fog all day. Like I've been walking around with songs flying around my head. Sad, disappointed songs.

Maybe it would help if I didn't keep playing them over and over again on the cd player or itunes. Ya think?

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If everyone cared,
and nobody cried
If everyone loved
and nobody lied

If everyone shared
and swallowed their pride
There'd be a day
when nobody died
-Nickelback
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I heard somewhere that the goal of parenting a teenager is similar to that of a 2 year old - to get through it with your relationship intact. Right now I feel like I don't know how to do that anymore. I feel like our relationship is changing RIGHT NOW, and I don't know how to change that.

I checked up on the Boy yesterday, and in addition to all the things he's done lately, I find out he's lying to me. I guess I always knew that he could be, but I always hope he's not.

But now I find out that he is, and I don't know how to trust him anymore. Whatever he says to me now, I'm like "whatever". Is it a lie? I don't know.

He tried to deflect trouble by saying that if I read his Myspace, that was a big violation of his privacy. I told him I had several methods and didn't want him to know what they were. He said I wasn't denying it, so finally I did. But I didn't look him in the eye.

And I could feel him looking at me in confusion, wondering if I was telling the truth or not. And I felt like saying, "How does it fucking feel?"

I don't know why I'm taking it personally, I know it isn't meant that way. It's not as if I was above lying when I was that age.

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Flames to dust
lovers to friends
why do all good things
come to an end?
-Nelly Furtado
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I guess it just makes me sad that he's not my fun Boy anymore. He's forcing me to be the "Bad Guy", and altho I've always been a parent more than a friend, it seems he's not any part my friend anymore. He never wants to be with us, that's for sure. But perfectly normal, I know.

I just miss the days when he was younger. As much as I feel I'm losing him now, I can only hope that someday he comes back to be my friend again.

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Later he came to me and admitted his lie - tho I think I'd backed him into a place where he had to. He says he's sorry and he won't do it anymore.

He's almost done with his Junior year, so he's close to being a Senior. So I don't know how much control I can continue to have of him anyway. I know some parents who are like, "My son's a senior now, so he does what he wants."

The problem with the Boy (and also a few of his friends) is that they're doing things now that could sabotage themselves.