Tired feet and a headache

Yesterday I came home with tired feet and a headache. I like children a lot, but I saw 12 groups of them a day! All different age groups!

One group of preschoolers included 2 children who were crying. Loudly. I felt like asking them, "Could you please try to cry more quietly, so that the other children can hear me?" But apparently they were under the impression that loudness would help.

One of them stopped after awhile, but one little boy was worked up into a frenzy. He kept crying, "I WANT MY MOMMY!" Finally he handed me a little phone and insisted that I call his mommy. I looked closely at it, and it was a toy. I said, "What's your name?" and he yelled, "I WANT MY MOMMY!" So I took the phone and said, "Hello? Mommy? Your little boy is here and he's crying for you. What? OK, I'll tell him." and I told the boy, "Your mommy says to tell you that she loves you very much, and she'll be here as soon as she can."

That's about all I could do for him. By then end of class, he was finally interested in something enough to stop crying, but on the way back to class the other little cryer tripped and fell and started crying again.

I don't know why my feet hurt so much, I guess I'm not used to standing and walking all day.

Last night I was so tired, but The Girl wanted me to watch her practice gymnastics in the back yard, so I dragged my butt out there to see her. Since I never see my son anymore, I feel I should make the extra effort for my remaining child. It was kindof nice sitting on the porch watching and visiting with her as the day was ending. It's not her fault I'm so old and tired.

Later she asked me if Ellen Winfrey was gay. I said that Oprah Winfrey is not gay (that I know of), but Ellen DeGeneres is. She said, "Is that Ellen's real name?" I said, "Yes, I think so." She responded, "Oh. That's a weird name." I said, "What? DeGeneres?" She said, "Oh, it's DeGeneres? I thought it was Generous." I said, "What? Ellen The Generous? I guess that WOULD be a strange name, like Attila the Hun or Henry the VIII."

Altho Ellen IS generous, I think that Oprah is a little more generous. After all, she's the one that started the whole daily giveaway thing.

Today on Regis and Kelly, Billy Bob T was there to plug his new movie, "Woodcock." He said his dad had been a coach, and Regis asked if any of his dad was in his character in the movie. Billy Bob said, "Oh yeah, Dad had a little Woodcock in him."

Ha.

New job

I got a new job.

Sort of by accident. I saw a job on Craigslist for a computer teacher at a Montessori school in a really nice nearby neighborhood, so I sent in an application. I went in for a second interview, still thinking about it, and next thing I knew the guy was handing me a "new employee packet"! I kindof got it whether I liked it or not. So now I have 2 jobs again.

Of course, I'd rather just have one job. But my main job only brings in money by commission, so I can work a million hours and not get paid. It's feast or famine, and the famine was getting too strong this time. So I'm hoping this little job will help even out the highs and lows of my main job. Plus I have lots of free time, even when I'm "busy" with my main job, so I had some desire to feel more productive.

It's only for Monday and Tuesday, but I only hope I can stick it out. Those are two busy days, let me tell you! After Labor Day there was just the Tuesday, and I came home with my feet hurting. Some of the preschoolers kept trying to run out of the room, and the middle schoolers went online and promptly got viruses on at least 3 computers.

So you can see, I've got my work cut out for me! I was a little traumatized. Plus the kids were using programs that MY kids used to use, and for no good reason it made me melancholy for the days when they were both much younger. I feel things are changing a lot this year, and it's making me miss days gone by when things were more simple.

Tuesday was the first day of school for my kids, too, and we started the week without The Boy. We knew where he was, we just weren't sure how to approach this. Sure, we could have called the police, but we'd had enough drama as it was.

That's another thing I resent. I grew up with WAY too much drama, so I've tried to make our family life more stable. But now I've got drama whether I like it or not. Not fair, I tell you!

So Tuesday afternoon, K called The Boy's girlfriend's father. He told this father exactly what had happened, and the father kindof chuckled. I'm sure it was a different story from what he'd been told by The Boy. He said he'd already had a long talk with The Boy about not wanting to get in between him and his parents, and K said, "Well, you are!" K pointed out that he didn't think the father would appreciate it if he told one of his girls to do something, and they came to our house instead.

So later that afternoon, The Boy called to negotiate his return. It was really silly, because most of the things he wanted he was going to get anyway, as the summer was over and now he's a Senior. He gets more freedom during the week than he had before, but in return he's getting a job to become more responsible and fend for himself.

That's really what we've been trying to accomplish with him anyway. So if he can do it himself, so much the better.

We had already given his cell phone and dog to his sister (he never wanted to take care of the dog anyway), and we're no longer giving him any rides or money. But I'm sure he's come out of this feeling like it's a victory, and that kindof sucks. I'm not too happy with his friend or his girlfriend anymore either, so now they're scared to come around and that's fine with me. I've had it with them.

You can't drive the getaway car and still expect your boyfriend's parents to be happy with you. I also pointed out to him that he can't expect to do this again next time he has a problem with us, as he probably just lost a lot of credibility with his girlfriend's father. I bet he won't be so quick to take him in again. And most parents won't be willing to take a teen in just because he doesn't want to do chores or doesn't like the rules.

He just blew his wad, and now it's gone. What I can't believe is that this girlfriend's parents let her boyfriend come over, spend ALL his time there, and even sleep there - evidently with her! So how do WE come out looking like the bad parents here?

Well, anyway, he's back and he's happier, but we're still angry with him. Especially me, I think. Hopefully someday soon things will even out again. Meanwhile he hasn't been able to find a job yet, and we haven't given him money in over a week.

I also told him that I didn't think it was fair to us to not even TRY to get an athletic scholarship. You may remember that earlier in the year, he refused to get onto a travel team, which is how you get seen by scouts. So it's been a bone of contention ever since. So I told him that his education is now up to him - he can take out loans or try to get a scholarship, but I'd like to remove us from the equation. I want him to try for himself.

At least The Girl still likes us. I'm just hoping to make it through the year,

Brad Pit is headed for trouble

I've had an incredibly frustrating and emotional week. You can stop reading now, if you want to.

It's funny, while my sister was here, I was telling her, "Oh, I don't get that upset anymore." I said this about work, but in general I'm not as touchy as I used to be.

Then my sister R left . The good times were over. no more shopping and copius eating out. I felt like I'd had a friend with me all week, then she was gone! Then nothing seemed as fun.

Then it got really, really hot
-which makes the ants come out
-felt like I was back in Birkham Yoga, but all day

Then my boss let me down and everyone was trying to squeeze me for money - and we all know I've had lots of expenses lately. I felt like everyone had their hand in my pocket, and I got so mad and frustrated I cried. I hate someone telling me I'm wrong when I don't agree. I hate someone making me do something that I don't want to do, even when in the back of my mind I know they can't make me. Maybe I was PMS'ing too.

Then the water heater broke
-and we have to wait a week for the company to fix it that's under the warranty; Luckily we've been so hot we've been happy to take cold showers.

Then The Boy gave us the old tomato. Over Labor Day weekend, he'd wanted to spend ALL his time with his friends and girlfriend, and mostly we let him. But we gave him some money on Thursday for something he agreed to do for the money (work out, I think), but he managed to put it off until Sunday night. Sunday he came back from the beach, took a shower, took a nap, then wanted to go back out. We said no, you need to do what you promised, and he snapped. He ran off to stay at his girlfriend's house, where her parents evidently let him sleep.

He said he's tired of having chores and having to run things by us, so unless we agree to give him total freedom (apparently what his graduated girlfriend gets), he's done with us. He says all his friends get to "hang out" from the time they get up until it's time to go to bed.

We didn't realize that the neighborhood was so brat infested.

Now my heart hurts
K and I are starting new jobs tomorrow
we didn't need this
we didn't deserve this
The Girl didn't deserve this
His dog didn't deserve this

K had planned to go to work that night, but stayed home with me
I was afraid I'd have a panic attack
my emotions so strong
that feeling of emptiness in my chest
yet my heart is beating so fast
can't believe he's doing this to me, to his little sister, to his little dog

torn
don't want him back if everything the same - giving him rides, etc. when he's so unappreciative
can't believe his girlfriend's parents are enabling him to leave home
they even bought him school supplies, he says

he says he's getting a job
that would be good for him

I'm really confused about what to do now
Option 1 -put pressure on him to return (but he's been SUCH a pain in the ass!)
Option 2 - wait until his girlfriend goes to college and her family gets tired of his being there without her

Everything now seems to remind me of when he was a boy, and he loved and valued us, and that hurts. but it seems normal that he has to break away at some point, and so he's turned against us.

But now I remember all the love and attention I gave to him so willingly, and I wonder why. why did I do all that?

It's just so hard sometimes, that I think I can't do it anymore.

I have to go thru all his old stuff now - he'd started changing rooms before he left
I get to pack up all his youthful collections and remember when he was a nice boy.

But I guess I don't have to do it right now.

Sure, Brad Pitt thinks the kids are cute NOW. Wait until he's got 5 teenagers to deal with.

The Old Tomato

My Sister "R" came for a visit last week. Another soccer team had asked The Girl to play with them in Santa Barbara that weekend, and I forgot it was the same weekend that R was coming! But K took The Girl up on Sat while I went to get my sister at LAX.

I took R to Venice Beach where we got something to eat, and I bought a few Christmas presents. I try to buy them when I see them all year, and that makes the holiday crunch a little easier.

When K and the Girl got back from Santa Barbara, K was telling us how well The Girl played, and how the ref was being really hard on her team. The Girl said, "Yeah, I even heard him tell one girl, 'Don't make me give you an old tomato.'"

After we finished laughing, we informed her that the ref was probably referring to an "ultimatum", which in the end is probably just as bad as an old tomato. But all week we kept saying, "Don't make me give you the old tomato!"

The next day we ALL went to Santa Barbara to see the Girl play. The Boy and his girlfriend went too, which was nice even tho they mostly spoke only to each other. The Girl was put into a midfield position, and scored the team's only 2 goals of the weekend!

This of course made me wish she could be on THAT team instead. They're too far away from us - otherwise you know I'd be considering it. I get frustrated that The Girl never gets to play forward on her own team, frustrated that it's only because the other girls aren't good enough. That doesn't seem fair to my daughter, that every new player tries out in the forward positions.

Anyway, we took her out to eat at Chili's as a treat for her. I noticed that the Boy's Girlfriend ordered a dish with shrimp. Me, I was raised to never order anything very expensive when someone else was paying. Was it consideration, or guilt? I guess kids these days aren't taught that, but then I also know that her parents take The Boy out sometimes too. Anyway, she and the Boy cuddled the whole way home. Later I heard that they had a fight when we got back, because the Girlfriend said the Boy doesn't pay enough attention to her.

What? Is 98% of all his time not enough?

I don't get it.

Vegas Vacation 07

We took off to Vegas for a few nights - the only family vacation we're taking this year unless you count going to Stockton for a basketball tournament.

Things were kind of not going our way the whole trip, but we mostly didn't mind and had a good time anyway. First, we drove by way of the only Long John Silver's Fish and Chips place we know - in Bakersfield. It's a tradition for us to go there on our way to Vegas, and every year I take a picture of the kids with their pirate hats on. Well, guess what, this year we drive there, and it's gone! Sure, they're rebuilding something there, but will it be a Long John Silver's? We were disappointed, but bought food at Taco Bell instead.

We got to Vegas in good time, and made our way to the Flamingo. It's unbelievable how much building is still going on there! Now I think they're building time-share condos as well as new casinos. There's a new one called Planet Hollywood (altho the restaurant is at Cesar's palace), and Platinum.

Anyway, we got to our room, and it just wasn't as clean as we are used to. There were little hairs on the floor in the bathroom! We don't need anyone else's little hairs, we have enough of our own! It creeped me out. So I asked housekeeping to sweep it for us, and I have to say that they came and did it right away.

There were other little things about the room, too. I opened up the book that has stationary in it, and there was a phone number written on the sheet! They hadn't checked it or changed it. K said we should call the number and ask them to get their hairs out of the bathroom! Also, a few of the pillowcases looked inside-out, and when I opened the ice bucket, it still had water at the bottom from someone else. Just little things that weren't right.

Next we headed down to the pool. The kids took off for the water slide, and we sat down, only to be informed that the pool was closing in 5 minutes! At 6:00! Evidently a "private party" was being held there, and ALL the other guests had to go! Well, half the reason we like the Flamingo is because of the pool, so we weren't real happy about that. The kids got wet on one trip down the slide, and that was it!

So we trudged back to the room, showered and dried off. We debated what to do about dinner. The housekeeper said the Flamingo's buffet was really good and about $19.99 each, which sounded like a lot to me. The Boy wanted to do one non-buffet meal, so we decided to walk over to Caesar's Forum and eat at Planet Hollywood. That sounded like about half the price of that buffet per-person, so that was fine with me.

When you walk outside, you're hit with a wall of heat that's unexpected after the cold air conditioning inside. We walked in through the end of the Forum, which we've never done before, because it looked closest to Planet Hollywood. I was taking lots of pictures, as I've been known to do, but when I went to take a picture of the "Playboy" store, my camera suddenly developed a "zoom error" that will not go away! I wasn't even using the zoom! Was my camera a feminist? So now my camera won't do much of anything, except maybe I can get the pictures off of it. This was an unexpected loss, and the only thing that bums me out about this trip. We all know how much I love unexpected expenses.

After dinner, we walked around Planet Hollywood looking at all the movie props, and the Girl was scared of the Werewolf costume. Then we went into the mall to find FAO Schwartz for The Girl. We all could pick one thing to do on the trip, and The Girl LOVES this store. It's probably the biggest toy store we've ever been in. We don't buy much there, but it's fun to look.

After the mall, we walked back to the room and just wanted to stay there. We adults made some cocktails, The Boy was reading Harry Potter, and The Girl watched TV until she went to bed. That night no one felt comfortable sleeping with The Boy, so three of us crowded into one bed, and that was not a very comfortable night. The Girl kept scooting backwards into me, and making cranky noises in her sleep. I was stuck in the middle most of the night, which made it a real production to roll over.

The next morning I had to make some calls for work, then we made our way to the Paris buffet - MY one thing I love to do in Vegas. We arrived too late for breakfast, though, and I was considering bailing out and coming back the next morning. No one else liked that idea, though, because they were really hungry. So we waited in line, and I was glad we did. Lunch was delicious there too, with a beef Burgundy dish that I especially loved.

Our friend Schlow found us there. He was in town for business, so it was hard to get together. It was really nice of him to stop by and find us, even if we only saw him for about 10 minutes. He lives in Connecticut, so we rarely see him these days.

We went back to the Flamingo, bought a disposable camera, and went to the pool for most of the afternoon. The kids disappeared onto the water slide, and K sat by me while I read. They played some good songs out there, and when they played Amy Weinhouse's "They try to make me go to rehab, I say no, no, no" it seemed to strike a cord with a lot of people drinking in and by the pool, because I heard lots of singing along to "no, no, no."

I was lucky to find a chair (at all!) that was somewhat in the shade. Nearby were some chairs that had towels on them, but they were soaked from the misters located on the nearby palm trees. One guy tried to turn off the mister that kept spraying his back, and finally put a towel over it. This caused all the other misters to mist overtime, and every time the wind shifted I had to hide my library book under a towel.

Late in the afternoon we went back to the room, showered and changed clothes. Then we headed out for "Downtown" Las Vegas. I think it had been awhile since the kids were there, and they didn't even remember it. Downtown is covered, and at night they sometimes do light shows on it. We found a very cheap buffet there - at Union Station ($7.77), and it was indeed very basic. The family loved it - mashed potatoes is their only requirement.

When we came out, there was some entertainment going on. There was a motorcycle driving around in a metal ball, and some gymnasts throwing a girl WAY into the air and catching her on a little board. We were full, which made us tired, so we headed back to the room.

Since the boy was engrossed in his book and up for babysitting, K and I decided to gamble for the first time in I don't know how many years. First of all, when did they quit using coins? I headed out with my quarters, and none of the slot machines take coins anymore! They have slots for dollars and for cards, but no coins.

We wandered to a casino next door, where K spotted a $1 margarita sign. So he went off and came back with 4 small margaritas. I sat at the bar and played the poker machine there, until a spot opened up at the $5 blackjack table behind us. So I turned over the poker machine to K, and went to the blackjack table with $20.

The dealer gave me some chips and I started to play, and actually was winning more than losing. So I doubled my bet, (to $10!) which made me so nervous that I accidentally stayed on 11 instead of hitting, which I thought I did. So when she turned the cards over, the dealer was confused too (I think I DID hit), and after that she kept looking at me funny. I felt like she was judging me, so she didn't get a tip.

The whole thing is a little nerve-wracking, especially since I hadn't done it in a long time and people at the tables expect you to know what you're doing and you have to add the cards up really fast and make a decision. Whew! Every time I doubled my bet I got more nervous too. K and I are not really gamblers, and if we lose $20 we're likely to get sad.

After awhile a seat opened up next to me, and the guy walked away saying he'd just lost $100. K took his seat and played next to me, and promptly lost $20. I guess I should have warned him that that was an unlucky seat. I more than doubled my money, and then got even more nervous, so I decided to quit. I tipped the new dealer, since she hadn't judged me, and we walked back to the room.

Between the two of us, we evened each other out and came out about $1 ahead. Wo-wee! That night K slept with The Boy, so the Girl and I had the other bed to ourselves. Everyone (except the Boy) slept a lot better that night.

The next day we ate at Denny's on our way home, and hit traffic on a Friday!

Unfortunately, I am down a camera now. I'll update with pictures when my disposable camera gets developed.

Doctor visit

I went to see the doctor on Monday, to remove a wart on my finger. Gross, I know. I'd had it removed before - they just sprayed it with the stuff that instantly freezes things, and put a bandaid on it. They said at the time it might grow back, though, because it's by a joint on my finger.

So I arrived at the facility in Hollywood barely on time, and I parked in a big shopping center parking lot that's right next door. At times they've had a guy policing the parking lot for people like me, but that day I didn't see anyone. Yay! I parked and went into the building, where I saw a sign saying not to park in the parking lot next door, as they might TOW YOUR CAR AWAY!

Those of you who've known me (or my blog) for awhile might remember that last Thanksgiving we had soul-twisting experience that is "towing your car away", and since then I've been terrified of repeating it.

So, what should I do? I asked the security guard in the lobby if the sign was true, but she claimed to not know anything about it. Plus, I was late for my appointment, so I hurried inside and hoped that the procedure would be fast.

I checked in at the front desk, then again at the nurses station, and was actually called in very quickly. I explained to the nurse that I was worried about my car, and she said that this doctor (nurse practitioner, actually) was fast. She put me into a room to wait, which overlooked the parking lot and I could see my car!

This made me feel a little better at first, but then I started imagining that every man who walked by was getting my license plate number, and this made me even more nervous.

Then the male nurse walked in, and took a look at my finger. I told him its history, and he said, "Well, I'm not sure that's a wart." as he peered at it through a microscope device. "Then what is it?" I asked, but he didn't answer. Then he announced that he'd take care of it, and I asked, "Oh, are you going to spray it with that freezing stuff?" and he said, "No, I'm going to cut it open and dig it out."

What???

"Well, that sounds just terrible!" I informed him. Then I asked, "Do you think I should move my car?"

He asked why, and I told him. Then he surprised me by saying, "Yes, you'd better go move your car." "Really?" I asked. "Yes," he said with some authority, "you'd better go move it." He said he thinks that the shopping center people have a deal with the towing company for kickbacks, and I think most places that tow are like that.

So I escaped the building and moved my car. As I was moving it, I called K and told him about the doctor visit. "Do you think I should just leave?" I asked him. It was really tempting, and it wouldn't be the first time, either. K asked why, and I told him that I just wasn't prepared for him to "cut it open and dig it out." Someone needs to be prepared for something like that, and I didn't gear myself up for "surgery", just a little freezing. I reminded him that I'd nearly passed out just looking at an X-ray before.

He said, "No, honey, you're already there. Just go let him do it." So I said OK, and bravely went back inside. I had to wait a little while for the Nurse to come back, but not too long. When he came back I told him that I just couldn't look at it, so I pulled a book from my purse and determinedly focused on reading it. He probably thought I looked a little silly, reading a book while someone "operates" on her finger, but I know if I looked at it, it would be a big deal involving smelling salts and lying down.

K was proud of me, being so brave.

Before I went home, I stopped by Children's Hospital, which is only about a block away. KK was there again with her little boy, frustrated because they couldn't go home. After the boy's chemo, he had a fever, so they wouldn't let him go home until it got better. Then, he got a microbacterial something in his "line", and they took it out and were waiting for him to have a clean blood screen for an entire day. Meanwhile, she won't go home and leave him alone, so she'd been there with him for over a week this time.

I guess bravery is in the eyes of the beholder.

Pop Media Notes

Zach Efron
was on the view yesterday. Chelsea Handler did the intro, holding a big pillow with a big picture of his face on it, and a Ken-like doll. After he'd greeted everyone and sat down, he gestured toward the pillow and said, "Great! Now you ladies can sit on me whenever you want." Then he seemed to realize that that sounded a little risque', so he tried to recover with, "Or, you can play with the doll." Was that better?

I think HE's a doll.


Harry Potter
No spoilers here, but I just want to say the this last book in the series was the BEST! It's the best of all the books, with maybe the exception of the first. That was exciting too. But #7? Great battle scenes. Epic and sad, too, because in war people die. The author never lets you forget that.

Running with Scissors
This movie was not as funny as I'd hoped. Mostly I thought it was sad that children are subject to the actions of adults who are idiots. Children have no power, and I find it extremely sad that some are born into bad situations.

Smoking Aces
Too gory for me. The story was OK and I liked Jeremy Piven's acting. Also Alicia Keys was really good. But so many people die. I can't beleive my son saw it 3 times and loves it!

The Sopranos
I never weighed in on the Sopranos finale, but I'd like to say that I thought it was perfect. It was like everyone was thinking, "OK, is it really over now? Is it really going to be ok, or do I need to watch out at all times?" And then, blackness. The end. Because that's what it's like, that's what they're lives will always be - watching over their shoulders. I guess if the story had a beginning and an ending, it would be the start and end of his therapy.

OJ's Book
Ever since OJ bumped into me at the Prince concert (see March 07), I've been peripherally interested in him again. I heard them say on "The View" that his book was online, so I searched and found it. (http://static.scribd.com/docs/6jm9e5b451zeu.swf) I had a few hours to kill (ha!), so I read the whole thing. I think it should be called "WHY I did it" instead of "How I did it" (if I did). The book is very, very detailed about their relationship. How they met, how they got married, how they had children... on and on about everything. But when it gets to "The Night in Question" suddenly everything goes blank and then everything is bloody and his friend is saying, "What did you do?"

That's another interesting thing. Supposedly an aquaintance/friend comes over to see OJ that night, with some gossip that Nicole was fooling around in Cabo after OJ left. I think the timing of that is critical, because when they were in Cabo, they were supposedly getting back together. OJ was feeling optimistic then, but changed his mind later. So hearing that she did that at the very time he was "trying", I think that put him over the edge.

Also, if it was true, how do you think that friend felt when it was all over? He goes over there with some news and two people end up dead? Wow. That's a lot of consequence.

Oddly, though, I wasn't more angry with OJ after reading this book. Even tho he goes back to claiming he was "100% Not Guilty" - which is confusing when he'd previously said he did it. I felt more compassion for him after reading it, but more convinced than ever that he did it. Why would anyone write a book like that if they didn't?