The Picture Police

This is a tale of two families. One, K's, is confrontation-free. Not that things don't happen that people don't understand, but we are not to ask about them.

Then there is my family, who is pretty much the opposite. From one family we have a history of yelling, and in the other we have the Mystery of the Jade Necklace. For some reason, K and I moved far away from both families and started our own in sunny CA. Possibly because of this distance, we have had pretty good relationships with both families.

All my life I have loved to take pictures. My first was a tiny camera I bought from the back of a comic book when I was around 9. I had a vivitar for a long time, and took a Photography class in college. I loved developing the black and white images, watching them appear on the white paper.

When I grew up and had kids, the picture-taking only increased. Plus now with digital images, why not take 300 instead of 24?

So anyway, you get the picture. I have always tried to be generous with sending and sharing my photography, although at one time I sensed that K's sister E was somehow upset with me about pictures, and was no longer sending us any. It's so easy to offend women, and most of the time they never even tell you what you did wrong. And again, this was the non-confrontation family.

Back in my own family, my own sister E is living with my parents. She has OCD, and lately this has manifested itself in her claiming that people have stolen things from her, as if somehow we've stolen her childhood. BTW she is 12 years younger than me.

So I ask you, what could I possibly have of hers? Pictures. Pictures she says I have taken out of albums and absconded to California with. Most painfully, she even has my parents now questioning where I got the pictures of themselves that I enlarged as gifts for them! So even my most thoughtful gifts are coming back to bite me in the ass.

How do I know after all these years where I got the picture? One thing I know is that I never rifled through someone else's pictures with the idea of stealing them! Unless of course I am evil unknown to myself, like the man in Angel Heart, or delussionaly crazy like the girl in The Double Bind (don't read it!). In that case I'm probably not responsible for my actions anyway.

Then I gave my Mother an electronic picture frame for her Birthday (replacing the one stolen at Christmas) and included a flash drive with some recent pictures from my computer. Guess what? There were none of my sister AND IT WAS NOTICED!! Nevermind that another sister was also left out too, that was NOT noticed. Please people. I only had time to go through my most recent pictures. They're just lucky there weren't all of the cruise last year!

I think my Mother is brainwashed into believing these things herself, and every now and then will say something like "Well there was this one album...." So being worn down from all my sister's obsessing, she asked me a week before my visit to gather and copy all the pictures I have of my sisters.

So I did this, wishing to be done with the subject, and gave a copy of the disc to ALL of my 3 sisters.

In spite of all this, my sister managed suck it up and be nice while my family and I visited there, and we had a very nice trip and visit with her. All my practicing saying, "I don't want to fight with you." was not needed! I was thinking that the situation had improved.

Then the Girl went through my pictures from the trip and pasted some of herself on FaceBook. Then my sister asked why there were none of that side of the family. The Girl said she didn't have any, and my sister said she'd send her some.

Now my Mother tells me that she's offended that the Girl posted more pictures of K's family than mine, and that it isn't the first time that she and Dad have noticed it! She wonders if the Girl doesn't have some sort of identity crisis and wants only to acknowledge the whiter side of the family.

I wish I could say I was completely surprised, but my family often tends to see race as an answer to lots of things. I explained that the Girl only posted pictures that SHE WAS IN, but that didn't pacify my mother at all. She's entitled to her feelings, and she feels offended!

Later, my sister called to say that she finally looked at the disk I'd given her, and it was "bittersweet" because she sees pictures that she KNOWS are hers. She says she knows it was from her disposable camera, and I just told her I didn't see how that could even be true. I took a picture from her disposable camera?

Finally, all my practicing came in handy and I said that no one can make me feel guilty for something I didn't do. She says that is sad, as that means I am delusional.

Am I? Someday she's going to finally convince me that I am going crazy!

It's a short trip, my friends.