Bad Mood

The other day I was in a bad mood. First, I woke up at 4am because of a 4.4 earthquake, and then had trouble getting back to sleep. I kept waiting for an aftershock or a bigger quake.

When I finally got back to sleep my dreams were tiring. Often I dream I'm on vacation, which is nice. But sometimes I dream that I'm packing, and those dreams can make me wake up feeling drained. I kept dreaming about things I'd forgotten to pack, so I kept going back for things and sometimes not finding them.

When I was on my way and it was too late to turn back, I realized (in my dream) that I'd forgotten my migraine medication, and was duly worried about that. That was my first clue that I was getting a headache (in real life).

So I awoke headachy and tired, but I took a pill and tried to rally. When it got to be around lunchtime, K started telling me that Dan was coming over, as though I might want to be gone when he got here.

About the whole home-sale situation, K just told Dan not to talk to me about it, and that pretty much told him how I felt about that. Since then I've seen them at one of K's games, but I was perfectly nice. His wife looked scared that I was mad at them, but I was nice as always.

As I said, we almost lost him last year. So because of that, I can't very well get too angry with him. If he says we shouldn't work together, I'll just trust that he might have a good reason (his wife).

But I did have to go to the store to get some food for lunch, and when I finally went out, Dan was sitting in his car talking on his cell phone.

So I went ahead and got in the car and suddenly he said out his window, "Is that how it is now? I come over and you leave?"

I told him I needed to get some food for lunch, and before I knew it he was out of his car and sticking his head through my van window! So I hugged him and asked, "What's this all about?"

And he said, "I just need a hug."

I asked K about it later and Dan didn't tell him anything that was bothering him or that he needed a hug. And K doesn't usually like me even talking to men friends, let alone hugging them. But he didn't say anything about it.

I thought it was weird, but then I was in a bad mood.

Odds and ends

Today the maids broke our shower holder. We still have the spray part, but you can't really put it back in it's holder because it's broken.

It used to be a joke with us that nearly every time they came they broke something. There are two of them and they work together for about 2 hours every two weeks. They broke my coffee maker, unraveled a rug, got the sliding glass door off its track, the list goes on.

I like them because they clean to my Mother's standards - really scrub things down. But I think all this breakage just goes to show that you CAN be too clean!

-----------------

The Girl came home from school on Friday outraged because there's a new girl at the school, and all the guys are ga-ga over her. They even have a "dibbs list" or depth chart among the guys as to who can ask her out first, and she was impressed that the guys were really going to honor it.

She's outraged, though, because it's not that the new girl is prettier than all the girls at the school, its just that she's NEW.

I thought that was funny.

-----------------------

I had my 50th birthday and it was fun. I had been thinking of doing something big for it (and I still might go to Greece or something), but I accidentally offended my sister E, so I might not. I had invited my Mom to do something with me and the Girl (she turns 13 in March), but she only called back to see if I asked her because I wanted her to pay. So I'm officially giving up on her, as far as doing "mother/daughter" things together. She just doesn't seem to understand why anyone would do that.

Anyway, we made reservations for one night at the Bonaventure downtown, because it promised us a view and room service, which seems terribly extravagant to me. We got there early and walked around downtown. I love the library and Angels Flight, the rest of it was pretty new to me. They are converting lots of the old buildings into lofts, which look pretty cool. We stopped at Wolfgang Puck's to eat, which was good. K got bacon-wrapped meatloaf, and it came on a big bed of mashed potatoes, with a ketchup sauce decorating the plate. He loved it. I had pasta Putanesca because it has olives, and no one but me in my family likes olives, so I can't make it at home.

We had a great view of lights when we got back. We didn't know about the revolving restaurant at the top, or we would have gone up there. The next morning there was some mixup where the kitchen didn't seem to know anything about our coupons for room service. But when K explained we were there for my birthday, everyone got so nice! They even rolled it in on a tray and kept wishing me Happy Birthday. It was fun.

The Boy came home the following weekend. I was pretty impressed that he remembered my birthday at all, so I was happy when he came home. He and the Girl made me breakfast on Saturday morning, and we went out to dinner that night.

Before he came home, the Girl was doodling or something, but I noticed she had made a post-it note say "TV" really big. Then when the boy came home he brought an "extra" TV that he wants to keep here for his apartment next year. The Girl went and stuck the post-it note onto the TV.

I wondered out loud, "Wow, you wrote a note that said TV and a TV showed up!" She got excited and said, "I should say "boyfriend" or "laptop"!" So right now there's a post-it note on the front door that says "$1,000".

==================================

The Girl's basketball team played about 4 more close games, and only lost one. Wow! Tonight they won the championship. Yay!

K's team won their Division, which had never been done before by that school. They were really looking forward to their first game at State, where they'd play Sierra Canyon, the top team in the League that K's team beat during the regular season. They were the only team to beat them all season, so a rematch would have been fun.

Unfortunately, they found that one of the boys had too many credits or something, which disqualified them. It's hard to keep track of the kids credits because they change and quit schools so much, so it's really a shame.

Anyway, it was an exciting season.

Now back to soccer.

Ups and downs

I certainly do like the Ups. K's team won last night, and now are going to the Semi Finals! He is SO, so happy.

Last week I had mixed news. First, I got an estimate for the roof damage on our rental, and it was $7,+++! I was so bummed out. Then I found out the Insurance was going to pay for most of it, and I was SO relieved!

Then I found out the company I work for filed my tax return before it was ready, without my permission. The only person who should have filed it is me, and it wasn't ready yet! I suspect management, because files on "hold" count against them somehow, and I think a specific District Manager saw it was basically finished and just filed it. I think this because she has shown that she doesn't care about us workers, plus someone else discovered that this DM removed her password from her return.

I'm so mad I'm thinking of suing them.

But then I passed my Super Duper test, and I was VERY relieved about that. I wanted to finish before my birthday, so I could just enjoy it. I don't know if I felt more relieved about passing the test (I'd had lots of distractions) or finding out the duplex roof was going to be paid for.

The new client that called me a few weeks ago has so far turned out to be my favorite clients ever! They had a realistic idea about the price, they were ready to sell, and they totally trust me. They said, "What ever you say, we trust you." Wha? Well, that's just great!

And so far my plan has worked and they accepted an offer over the asking priced. Yay!

Then, one of our best friends (Dan - the one who almost died in the river) told us he's selling AND buying a new house, but he doesn't believe in mixing friends and business.

Wha? Why do I have such crumby friends? Does he think he'll KEEP his friendships by refusing to work with them? If his wife started a business and we went to her competitor, that would be the right thing to do?

His next door neighbor, when I met her at a party, turned out to be in Real Estate and taxes, just like me. We talked about real estate and I said I'd made some friends and lost some friends because of it, and she said, "If someone knows you are in the business and that you work on commission? If they don't use you, they're not your friend."

And I think that philosophy has some merit. I would do this for my friends, but if I find they feel differently, I figure that they're not really friends - maybe aquaintances. But how am I going to cut Dan out of the picture? He almost died last year, for heaven's sake. But I can tell you that his next-door neighbor is pissed off at him right now.

But if he's going to move closer to us and do questionable things like this to us (which mostly I blame on his wife - it's not the first weird thing), I doubt we'll be seeing much more of them than we do already.

K was trying to make it better, saying "Remember unconditional love?" And I sadly said, "But it turns out I'm no good at that! I tried with The Boy! Remember?" And we laughed.

I'm still trying.

Since then, K's team has won yet again! They're going to their league final playoff game!

Wow.

What evacuation?

Lately when I try taking a nap, I sleep just a short time and then suddenly feel like I'm falling and wake up. It's very fast, but whew! Then I'm awake and my heart is beating fast. Maybe that means I don't need the sleep.

I've been asking the Boy since last September to go to the Financial Aid office to find out something I don't know, and was having trouble finding out. During the Holidays my husband asked him again, but he just couldn't seem to do it. Finally I asked him, "What is it that you don't understand? Do you not understand what we're trying to find out?"

He said, "No, I don't know where the Financial Aid office is."

I felt like laughing, because I know he got a map of the school on the day he moved in, but I told him, "Ask somebody! Someone there must know where it is!" (It's in the Student Center).

A few days later I texted him, and he said that he'd found the Financial Aid office, but they said he needed to make an appointment to find out the answer to my question. So I texted him back, "Could you please make an appt as soon as possible?" and he said "okie dokie." Honestly.

So today he called me with the answer, and I told him i was proud of him for taking care of such a grown-up thing. He says he's trying. He actually admitted when he was here on vacation that he wants all the perks of getting older, but none of the responsibilty.

The girl is a different story. She's always had an enthusiastic personality, but now she's 12 going on 13. I blame part of it on the Twilight series and how funny the main character is because she's so uncoordinated, but now tripping and bumping into things is SO funny. I don't remember the Boy ever going through this, but she's become boisterous! When she talks to her friends there's a lot of loud talking and laughing these days.

Her basketball team is on a 4-game winning streak.

K's team won two more games, and are now officially in the playoffs. This has been his dream since he started coaching 2 years ago, but this year they've pulled it off. He never knows from week to week what kids he'll have (getting in trouble, going home, etc.) so it's always been challenging. But now he's so happy he's been giddy.

I've been studying to take a super duper tax test next week. It's funny, but the more I learn the specifics of the rules, the more I find there are grey areas. Is it rent or is it not? Is he a dependent or not?

Anyway, we've had some wild rains up here, but our luck has been good. Let's hope it's a big wave (of luck, not water) and that we can ride it for awhile.

Good day

Tuesday was such a good day! It's rare to have such a good day, so I'd like to remember it.

First I was working, and my appointment was an old tax client from my previous office. The company had closed that other office, and I don't know how many clients will drive the extra distance to see me this year.

Anyway, I was really glad to see her. When I first met this client she seemed really cranky. Fortunately, that doesn't really bother me anymore. The next year, I realized that she had kindof a fun crankiness, and it really wasn't very cranky at all! This year she positively LIKED me and even gave me a hug when she left.

That made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Then, while I was helping her, I missed a call on my cell phone (or rather, didn't take the call because I was with a client.) Later, I checked my messages and found that a potential new client called me for my OTHER business. Yay! That almost never happens.

Oh happy day.

Then, when K got home, he told us that his basketball team (of juvenile delinquents) had beaten the best team in their league! Every year he has high hopes for this team (which is different every year), but this is the first time they've actually done fairly well. And winning against the best team is unprecedented. He was positively giddy.

I wish every day could be like that.

Dear Mom,

I was thinking about what you said the other day about how none of us wrote to E (my sister) when she was in rehab, and I started feeling bad about that. That I didn't even think of that or know she might like that, feeling bad that I was such an unsupportive sister.

But then I thought, hey, she's not the only one who ever felt like that. I bet a lot of people wish people around them would be more supportive, but they don't go around asking why after the fact and making people feel bad about something they can't change.

I can think of several such times myself, when I didn't feel the love or support I would have liked from my family or my sisters. There were so many years that they never gave me presents that I finally stopped expecting them. And there were several times over the years when I wished that you had been there for me a lot more.

But you know what? I took responsibility for my feelings, and understood that I could try just telling you that I wanted more attention, or just deal with it myself. Even if I had told you, there is no guarantee that other people are going to act the way you wish they would. So I just sucked it up and tried to be good to myself and managed to not tell you about those times.

Should I tell you all about them now? Should I blame you for something you didn't know I felt and can't change now anyway?

I think that the way E obsesses over perceived slights to the point where she talks about them a lot. And the more she talks the more you wish you could fix things for her. If only everyone would change! And so you try to explain her point of view and fight her battles for her.

I know you are trying to help her, but now it seems that I am spending time fighting with you when the fact is I hate to fight. Hate it. And so the prospect of fighting with E is unappealing. And now I am fighting with you too.

Where is all this going to end up? I thought we had a good relationship, but it seems like things are just getting worse.

I know you are trying and I know it must be hard, but I think your efforts would be better spent trying to get her off those ruts her mind goes into and try to get her onto another line of thinking. Everybody has feelings that she experiences, but we have to learn other ways of talking ourselves down, making ourselves feel better. We can't all go around demanding that other people change.

Only we can make ourselves feel better. I can apologize all day, but only she can decide to feel better.

Obstacles

On being pleasant
A few months ago I decided to be more easy-going. To try, anyway. I talked with a friend who had just watched "A Wonderful World" and she felt the same: She was going to try to be "as pleasant as pleasant can be!"

Right after I made this decision, as usual, life tried to test me. First, I saw a big dog in my yard, so I went outside to tell it to quit pooping on my lawn. After I yelled at him to stop, I saw his owner coming to get him. I wanted to ask the owner to please take his doggie's poop with him, but was unable to think of a pleasant way to do so.

So I went inside and closed the door.

Then I took my daughter to soccer practice. Some of the parents were standing around talking about last week's game, and one of the Dads told me, "Actually, that referee was correct. Maybe if you don't understand the game of soccer you just shouldn't talk."

Excuse me? I just shouldn't TALK???? I wanted to say, "Maybe if you don't have enough of a grasp of the English language to know when you might be offending people, maybe YOU shouldn't talk!"

But I couldn't think of a pleasant way to say this, so I left.

And we all know I failed the being pleasant test at Christmastime. This being pleasant business is a lot harder than it's cracked up to be.

It seems whenever I decide I want something in life, there are immediately obstacles. A friend told me about sauteing cabbage in sesame oil and mixing it with the rice noodles found at local Korean stores, so I thought that sounded good. I'm always looking for good vegetable recipes (plus I love noodles.)

So Monday I went to the local Korean store, and there weren't any. I asked the lady behind the counter, and she said "Not today. Come tomorrow!"

So the next day I braved the unusual smells and unfamiliar products again to look for the noodles, but again, I couldn't find them. So I walked all the way to the back of the store, past the butcher station, and I saw some of the noodles spread out on a pan on the counter. I asked the man standing there, "Do you have any noodles ready to go?" and he said, "Not yet. One hour."

So you see, one has to really try once you make a decision. Or you give up. At least I finally got my noodles (yum!).

I hope I can stay pleasant. Sometimes I feel like giving up.