What evacuation?

Lately when I try taking a nap, I sleep just a short time and then suddenly feel like I'm falling and wake up. It's very fast, but whew! Then I'm awake and my heart is beating fast. Maybe that means I don't need the sleep.

I've been asking the Boy since last September to go to the Financial Aid office to find out something I don't know, and was having trouble finding out. During the Holidays my husband asked him again, but he just couldn't seem to do it. Finally I asked him, "What is it that you don't understand? Do you not understand what we're trying to find out?"

He said, "No, I don't know where the Financial Aid office is."

I felt like laughing, because I know he got a map of the school on the day he moved in, but I told him, "Ask somebody! Someone there must know where it is!" (It's in the Student Center).

A few days later I texted him, and he said that he'd found the Financial Aid office, but they said he needed to make an appointment to find out the answer to my question. So I texted him back, "Could you please make an appt as soon as possible?" and he said "okie dokie." Honestly.

So today he called me with the answer, and I told him i was proud of him for taking care of such a grown-up thing. He says he's trying. He actually admitted when he was here on vacation that he wants all the perks of getting older, but none of the responsibilty.

The girl is a different story. She's always had an enthusiastic personality, but now she's 12 going on 13. I blame part of it on the Twilight series and how funny the main character is because she's so uncoordinated, but now tripping and bumping into things is SO funny. I don't remember the Boy ever going through this, but she's become boisterous! When she talks to her friends there's a lot of loud talking and laughing these days.

Her basketball team is on a 4-game winning streak.

K's team won two more games, and are now officially in the playoffs. This has been his dream since he started coaching 2 years ago, but this year they've pulled it off. He never knows from week to week what kids he'll have (getting in trouble, going home, etc.) so it's always been challenging. But now he's so happy he's been giddy.

I've been studying to take a super duper tax test next week. It's funny, but the more I learn the specifics of the rules, the more I find there are grey areas. Is it rent or is it not? Is he a dependent or not?

Anyway, we've had some wild rains up here, but our luck has been good. Let's hope it's a big wave (of luck, not water) and that we can ride it for awhile.

Good day

Tuesday was such a good day! It's rare to have such a good day, so I'd like to remember it.

First I was working, and my appointment was an old tax client from my previous office. The company had closed that other office, and I don't know how many clients will drive the extra distance to see me this year.

Anyway, I was really glad to see her. When I first met this client she seemed really cranky. Fortunately, that doesn't really bother me anymore. The next year, I realized that she had kindof a fun crankiness, and it really wasn't very cranky at all! This year she positively LIKED me and even gave me a hug when she left.

That made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Then, while I was helping her, I missed a call on my cell phone (or rather, didn't take the call because I was with a client.) Later, I checked my messages and found that a potential new client called me for my OTHER business. Yay! That almost never happens.

Oh happy day.

Then, when K got home, he told us that his basketball team (of juvenile delinquents) had beaten the best team in their league! Every year he has high hopes for this team (which is different every year), but this is the first time they've actually done fairly well. And winning against the best team is unprecedented. He was positively giddy.

I wish every day could be like that.

Dear Mom,

I was thinking about what you said the other day about how none of us wrote to E (my sister) when she was in rehab, and I started feeling bad about that. That I didn't even think of that or know she might like that, feeling bad that I was such an unsupportive sister.

But then I thought, hey, she's not the only one who ever felt like that. I bet a lot of people wish people around them would be more supportive, but they don't go around asking why after the fact and making people feel bad about something they can't change.

I can think of several such times myself, when I didn't feel the love or support I would have liked from my family or my sisters. There were so many years that they never gave me presents that I finally stopped expecting them. And there were several times over the years when I wished that you had been there for me a lot more.

But you know what? I took responsibility for my feelings, and understood that I could try just telling you that I wanted more attention, or just deal with it myself. Even if I had told you, there is no guarantee that other people are going to act the way you wish they would. So I just sucked it up and tried to be good to myself and managed to not tell you about those times.

Should I tell you all about them now? Should I blame you for something you didn't know I felt and can't change now anyway?

I think that the way E obsesses over perceived slights to the point where she talks about them a lot. And the more she talks the more you wish you could fix things for her. If only everyone would change! And so you try to explain her point of view and fight her battles for her.

I know you are trying to help her, but now it seems that I am spending time fighting with you when the fact is I hate to fight. Hate it. And so the prospect of fighting with E is unappealing. And now I am fighting with you too.

Where is all this going to end up? I thought we had a good relationship, but it seems like things are just getting worse.

I know you are trying and I know it must be hard, but I think your efforts would be better spent trying to get her off those ruts her mind goes into and try to get her onto another line of thinking. Everybody has feelings that she experiences, but we have to learn other ways of talking ourselves down, making ourselves feel better. We can't all go around demanding that other people change.

Only we can make ourselves feel better. I can apologize all day, but only she can decide to feel better.

Obstacles

On being pleasant
A few months ago I decided to be more easy-going. To try, anyway. I talked with a friend who had just watched "A Wonderful World" and she felt the same: She was going to try to be "as pleasant as pleasant can be!"

Right after I made this decision, as usual, life tried to test me. First, I saw a big dog in my yard, so I went outside to tell it to quit pooping on my lawn. After I yelled at him to stop, I saw his owner coming to get him. I wanted to ask the owner to please take his doggie's poop with him, but was unable to think of a pleasant way to do so.

So I went inside and closed the door.

Then I took my daughter to soccer practice. Some of the parents were standing around talking about last week's game, and one of the Dads told me, "Actually, that referee was correct. Maybe if you don't understand the game of soccer you just shouldn't talk."

Excuse me? I just shouldn't TALK???? I wanted to say, "Maybe if you don't have enough of a grasp of the English language to know when you might be offending people, maybe YOU shouldn't talk!"

But I couldn't think of a pleasant way to say this, so I left.

And we all know I failed the being pleasant test at Christmastime. This being pleasant business is a lot harder than it's cracked up to be.

It seems whenever I decide I want something in life, there are immediately obstacles. A friend told me about sauteing cabbage in sesame oil and mixing it with the rice noodles found at local Korean stores, so I thought that sounded good. I'm always looking for good vegetable recipes (plus I love noodles.)

So Monday I went to the local Korean store, and there weren't any. I asked the lady behind the counter, and she said "Not today. Come tomorrow!"

So the next day I braved the unusual smells and unfamiliar products again to look for the noodles, but again, I couldn't find them. So I walked all the way to the back of the store, past the butcher station, and I saw some of the noodles spread out on a pan on the counter. I asked the man standing there, "Do you have any noodles ready to go?" and he said, "Not yet. One hour."

So you see, one has to really try once you make a decision. Or you give up. At least I finally got my noodles (yum!).

I hope I can stay pleasant. Sometimes I feel like giving up.

My Plan

We had some work done in the basement in November. New flooring, ceiling stripped of popcorn, paint. This meant clearing everything OUT of the basement (and our bedroom), and this was a BIG job.

The Girl was helping us at first, mostly carrying books outside. She stopped and asked me, "Mom, do you have so many books because you don't want people to think you watch too much TV?" Wha? Isn't that a funny question?

I told her no, it's because I like to read. She said, "Well, that explains why you BUY the books, but no why you KEEP them!" I explained that some I like to look at again or refer to later.

But she got me thinking, and I have too much stuff in general, but also too many books. So as we unpack, we're paring down and hoping to clear out LOTs of stuff.

So I don't really need to make a resolution, but this year I plan to get rid of lots more stuff.

Also, I'm determined to find a way to lose weight that doesn't involve stopping drinking.

Exercise! Next week the Girl and I start tennis lessons again.

Here's to carrying around less weight this year! I'll drink to that!

The saga continues...

The day before yesterday I got an email notice that our TV had been picked up at Best Buy in Boulder, Colorado. OK, but the TV for K's parents was already picked up on 12/12. Hmmm....

When we ordered the TV online to be picked up in Boulder, we followed up with a phone call to the store. The store manager told us that our order couldn't be picked up without ID, which would be impossible since we live in California. So he had us order one over the phone, and put a note on it so K's sister could pick it up for him in CO.

K was concerned about accidentally buying 2 TV's, but the manager said it wouldn't be possible, without ID. Later, I also received an email about our first order, saying we only had a limited time to pick it up. So there was no need to cancel the order, because we wouldn't be charged until the unit was picked up.

A month later, someone DID pick up a 2nd TV, evidently without ID. I think it must have been an "inside job", as who would know that a TV was waiting for someone with a certain name? Who else would let someone pick up a TV w/out the required ID?

The store is now investigating, and hopefully we will not be out another $300!

We never had ANY of these problems before. What's with all the crime this Christmas?

Teardrop